Happy Veterans Day!

 

On Veterans Day, and every day, we honor and express our utmost gratitude to our veterans for their willingness to make sacrifices for our country. Veterans Day is set aside annually on November 11th to honor our veterans who have served in the United States Armed Services. This is different from Memorial Day which is set aside in memory of those who have sacrificed their lives in the line of duty.

Serving in the military requires commitment and at times can be harsh. As a U.S. Army Infantry veteran myself I can attest to these hardships. Hard and tough training is only the beginning. The only choice you get is to do what you are told. You have to endure long days and nights with very little sleep, freezing cold, extreme heat, rain, snow, being hungry and not knowing what is going to happen tomorrow. “First to go and last to know” is a common phrase. Another one is “don’t ask why, just do or die.” This is all part of the military culture and it’s very stressful. Witnessing death and victory on the same day causes confusion and emotional numbing, trauma, grief and joy until they learn their best friend didn’t make it and the joy is gone. This loss of a friend or admired leader can cause a soldier to lose confidence and struggle to understand their purpose and turns into anger and resentment.

They return home to their families after being away for extended periods of time. Home from a foriegn country where they didn’t understand the culture, people, language and treated poorly and were not welcome only to be reminded by their commanders to be kind and diplomatic toward the locals. Frustrated, away from home, exhausted and perhaps feeling depressed, they turn to alcohol or other destructive measures to cope.

But this return home, despite their hardships, can be one of the toughest deployments yet. Trying to adjust back to civilian life is not easy. Returning to a world full of self-centeredness from one full of teamwork and “Band of Brothers” is hard. You are no longer told how, when and where to do things. Going from a place where structure was commonplace to one with no structure and trying to figure things out on your own is a difficult adjustment. It’s almost as if the veteran has to relearn how to live life. The military sent them home with no plan, no transition, nothing but a piece of paper and trying to figure out what to do with themselves.

Veterans also return home with trauma. They bring the memories of the things they witnessed such as death and destruction. They experience flashbacks, intrusive memories of bad situations and have sweaty nightmares. Sounds, smells and certain situations create intense fear in the psychological response as trauma does weird things to the brain. Some heal but some don’t and estimates put veteran suicides at 22 per day. This trauma can be healed and there are treatments available that can heal trauma and greatly reduce suicidal feelings.

Veterans Day is often a celebration with parades, events and some companies use it to promote their products. However, this day for a lot of veterans can be a very somber day as it is often filled with remembrance. We miss those days that gave us purpose and we miss the ones who never made it home. We miss the good times that we shared so much of our life with. We miss the home that we left and how much it changed while we were gone, and we miss the camaraderie and brotherhood of being all one together.

The struggle goes on as the mindset and training instilled in us never leaves. The world we came home to is full of selfishness, lack of teamwork and a general uncaring attitude is one that can be very hard for a veteran. We often struggle to understand why people just can’t respect each other. We forget that in the early days of our training we got that mentality knocked out of us. Talking to multiple veterans I have come to realize that many of us share a hope that if the general public could just learn this same basic principle, and that is to treat each other with honor and respect. To be available, kindhearted and reach out with a hand to help each other when we struggle to make it on our own. This is how we win wars, obtain objectives and achieve goals. We push through, adapt, overcome and at times push, pull, drag and if necessary carry each other.

This Veterans Day I ask that all Americans recognize the unique struggles that veterans have been through. The military is a hardship. It can leave physical and mental scars that many are trying to deal with on a daily basis. It’s not a time for car or furniture sales, it’s a time for remembrance, recognition, family time, cookout’s and in the month of November a time to show thanks. We ask for nothing more. Thank you to all the Americans who have supported our military. It’s nice to know that you have had our backs. To all my veteran family and friends out there, thank you for being by my side, watching my back and leading from the front.  May God Bless you all.

Sincerely,

Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

National Certified Counselor

United States Army Veteran, IN

 

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www.lifeworksgroup.org