What Is Borderline Personality Disorder?

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By: Brian Murray, LMHC, NCC

 
 Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD, is a serious mental health condition that affects approximately 3% of the general population with 70% of those individuals being female. Despite this, the public appears to know very little about this disorder. Typically, it becomes known someone is either diagnosed with the condition or finds themselves in a relationship with someone who has BPD.

BPD is recognized by its core features which include mood instability and fear of abandonment. This criteria sometimes creates confusion as it can have symptoms similar to Bipolar disorder, which is a mood disorder, however the clinical diagnostic criteria are much different. People with this condition frequently conduct self-harm practices such as threatening suicide, cutting, addiction issues, and eating disorders. They have unstable identity issues, so they are attracted to people with a strong personality such as Narcissists or those who appear grounded with direction in life.

If you are in a relationship or live with someone who has BPD, life can be distraught with ongoing difficult and unreasonable conflicts that do not resolve over time. At times you may feel like you are being held hostage by their strong emotional outbursts, but this is due to something called engulfment which is brought on by deep-seated fears of abandonment. The borderline puts the priority of saving the relationship above getting needs and feelings met. The scenario goes something like this: impulsive emotional outburst, realization of outburst followed by fear of relationship loss, and finally pleading to their partner not to leave or expressing excessive apology.

Engulfment behavior can manifest in many ways, which are the symptoms of how a borderline gets diagnosed. In counseling, these emotional reactions at times get directed at the therapist. However, a well-trained therapist who specializes in working with BPD can identify these reactions and help bring calm to the client. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or DBT, is especially effective for helping these clients learn how to recognize distorted emotions and use techniques to settle themselves before they react.

The borderline’s emotional reactivity can be frightening to the partner as people with BPD can become highly manipulative. Common tactics such as suicide threats or self-harm are common, especially if the borderline feels that the threat in the past resulted in the partner not leaving. Screaming, name calling, cutting, substance abuse and eating disorders are frequent behaviors that are used to wreak havoc on others and are often misdiagnosed as independent disorders such as anger, or addiction issues.

If you feel that you, or someone you are in relationship with has this disorder, please seek professional help from a licensed mental health professional. Ask if the counselor specifically treats BPD and if so, what is their experience in working with this condition. Not all counselors do so it would be best to find one who specializes in this condition.

 

  To schedule an appointment with Brian Murray,
Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
www.lifeworksgroup.org

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