The Baffling Array of Domestic Abuse

By: Elizabeth McKeehan, IMH   


Do you constantly feel anxious, fearful, or unsafe? How does your body react at the sight of or in verbal interactions with your spouse? Does your stomach churn, get upset, your neck or shoulders contract, your jaw clench? Have you broken out in hives? Are you eating?

It is estimated that 1 in 4 women live in abusive relationships!

October is domestic violence awareness month, let us look at how to spot it in its various forms. Domestic violence (DV) can be extremely insidious, and even crazy making. Its subtleties, gradual nature, and long-term harm are stunning.  It impartially rules no one out based on gender, race, age, religion, education, or economic status.

According to a CDC survey, Americans experience physical violence with their intimate partner every minute. Domestic violence victims total 10 million per year.  This means you or someone you care about is being affected by it as you are reading this article.

If you are feeling controlled in any way by your partner, this is a red flag that you may be experiencing domestic abuse. Domestic violence comes in many forms and has a wide spectrum. While we have been conditioned to think of DV as strictly outward physical abuse, this is by far NOT the only method. Control is an abuser’s goal and they employ a wide range of tactics to succeed. The Power and Control Wheel visual clearly illustrates this control. See: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/  

The domestic violence national website below lists the first 6 areas of domestic abuse, but I have included spiritual abuse because it is real, and it affects the faith community as well. Although it is listed at the bottom that by no means indicates it is less prevalent. I might rank it near the top for the evangelical segment of Christianity as it is sneakily pervasive. For a more detailed listing see: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/

1.      Physical: Any aggressive physical acts (shove, kick, slap, pinch, etc.)

2.     Emotional: Threats, mean looks, name calling, insults, criticisms, etc.

3.     Sexual Abuse/Coercion: Forcing any sexual act that you say no to, cheating.

4.    Reproductive Coercion: Preventing you from a say in having children or not.

5.     Financial: Refusing you money or the ability to work.

6.    Digital: Using technology to bully, harass, spy, sexting, etc.

7.     Spiritual: Using the Bible to manipulate and/or control you.

If you are experiencing any of these behaviors from mild to severe, please seek professional help. Abuse is life threatening. Abuse affects our physical and emotional health even if there are no physical scars. Silently holding the abuse inside or ignoring it is not only harmful for your physical and emotional health, but your children’s as well. 

Seek a licensed counselor with experience in dealing with abuse.

Website: https://www.thehotline.org/

Call to speak with an abuse advocate: 1-800-799-7233

If unable to speak, text: LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474

 

 

 To schedule an appointment with Elizabeth McKeehan,
  Please call our office at 407-647-7005.
  www.lifeworksgroup.org

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