Back-to-School is Creating Extreme Anxiety for Students During COVID-19- Part 1
By: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC
Here’s How to Help Your Child Cope
Strategies for parents, teachers,and counselors to manage traumatic stress facing students who are returning to school during the pandemic
One billion students were locked out of classrooms globally when
COVID-19 was announced March 13, 2020 in what the United Nations called a “Generational
Catastrophe in education.” Today’s students are facing traumatic levels of stress
after months of governmental lock downs, sheltering in home and trying to learn
remotely with their exhausted parents tying to function as tutors.
School closures blocked access to peers, sports, after-school activities,
academic curriculum, and trained teachers. For some this loss of normal routine
was managed by extended family and supportive friends – for other children it
meant the loss of school lunches, no Internet, and their only access to safe or
supportive adults.
This Fall some 60% of schools are reopening with physical
distancing/ face mask requirements, in part over fears of the millions of children
and youth who might drop out or not have access to school due to the pandemic. “We
need education – the great equalizer – more than ever. The risks of keeping schools
closed far outweigh the benefits of closure.” – United Nations report
Coronavirus is a serious threat that may not come to your home
physically since your family may be protected from the risk of infection.
However, the pandemic impact will ripple out beyond physical health to harsh financial
realities and emotional overload. The most vulnerable populations are the very
old and the very young. People are social distancing to protect the medical
health of the very old. Parents and teachers need to understand the urgency to
protect the mental health of themselves and the very young. No modern generation
of students have ever faced this type of stressful challenge. They do not need
to face it alone.
There are multiple resources to
address the opening of schools safely according to the research provided by medical
researchers at the Centers for Disease Control as reported in the New York
Times on getting children safely back to a school schedule. This guide will
outline the physical safety factors for children.
What about the emotional and psychological factors? Consider the
key thought when working with the children experiencing this pandemic.
“You will always
miss what you are not trained to see”
Identifying how
the pandemic stress or anxiety is affecting your children is a safe way to help
them manage this season of unusual pressure and develop resilient coping skills.
Learning to spot mental and emotional health factors early can prevent a host
of other health and behavioral problems in the teens and twenties.
Just as early
prevention and screening of physical conditions like blood pressure, cancer,
diabetes and heart disease can protect physical health; the early screening of
depression, anxiety, ADD, OCD, complex grief or trauma can lead to a better
quality of life mentally for students. The elevated stress of COVID-19 is a lot
to handle for children.
Pandemic pressure
can identify gaps in mood or behavior to guide you as a parent or educator in
helping students through the pandemic. Remember, 75% of mental health
conditions develop by age 24. Now is the time to check, stabilize and then
treat any signs or symptoms that may have arisen during this highly stressful
time.
Common Stressors Elevated Stressors
-Academic Struggles -Annoying
-Accident Prone -Aggression
-Argumentative -Avoidance
(e.g., People, Places, Activities)
-Binge Eating -Blames
Others
-Chronic Worry -Controlling
-Deceitful -Defiance
-Difficulty Concentrating -Difficulty
Organizing
-Anxiety -Body
Weight Less than 85% of Normal Cognitive Distortion
-Destruction of Property -Detachment
-Disorganized Speech -Impaired
Communication
-Diminished Appetite -Disturbed
Body Perception
-Impaired Social Interaction -Impulsivity
-Easily Distracted -Excessive
Exercise
-No appetite / Fatigue -Purging
-Feelings of Guilt or
Worthlessness -Extreme
moodiness
-Flat Affect -Low
Frustration Tolerance
-Hyperactive -Hyper-Vigilance
-Immature for Age or Inattentive -Insomnia
-Interrupts / Irritability -Repetitive
Behaviors
-Inflated Self Esteem or
Grandiosity -Irrational
Fears (Death, Loss of Control)
-Lack of Empathy -Promiscuity
-Lies -Theft/Shoplifting
-Somatic Complaints -Serious
Violation of Rules or the law
-Significant Weight Change -Restrictive
Eating
-Little or No Motivation -Loss
of Temper
-Low Self Esteem -Depression
HIGH RISK BEHAVIORS (may require psychological stabilization)
-
Memory Loss or highly Disorganized
Behavior
-
Obsessive Thoughts
Delusions/Hallucinations or Flashbacks
-
Oppositional Drugs/Alcohol
-
Perfectionism or Panic/Trauma
-
Complete loss of Social Skills
-
Sadness or weepy mood swings
-
Social Dysfunction or Shyness
-
Recurrent, Persistent Intrusive
Thoughts
-
Suspiciousness
-
Threats of self-harm or openly has
Thoughts of Death
-
Talks Excessively with no filter
-
Starvation/ Anorexia
-
Muscle Tics
-
Unable to Follow Instructions
-
Use of Weapons or threats of
using weapons
-
Use of Laxatives, Diuretics,
Appetite Suppressants or Energy Drinks
-
Violence or threats of Violence
Students of COVID-19 are facing what researchers call an ACE, or
Adverse Childhood Experience. These are potentially traumatic events that can
have negative, lasting effects on health and well-being for a lifetime. These
experiences range from physical, emotional, or sexual abuse to parental divorce
or the incarceration of a parent or guardian. Adverse childhood experiences
have a connection with negative behavioral and health outcomes, such as obesity,
alcoholism, and depression, later in life.
46% of children
in the U.S. have experienced at least one ACE
reports the National
Survey of Children’s Health
Economic hardship is the most common adverse childhood experience
reported nationally, followed by the divorce or separation of a parent or
guardian. ACE’s increase with a child’s age. Abuse of alcohol or drugs, exposure
to neighborhood violence, and the occurrence of mental illness are the most
reported adverse childhood experiences. Here are the most traumatic according
to the researchers.
Consider how many of these factors may be facing your children or
students since the pandemic began.
1. Lived with a
parent or guardian who got divorced or separated.
2. Lived with a
parent or guardian who died.
3. Lived with a
parent or guardian who served time in jail or prison.
4. Lived with
anyone who was mentally ill or suicidal, or severely depressed for more than a
couple of weeks.
5. Lived with
anyone who had a problem with alcohol or drugs.
6. Witnessed a
parent, guardian, or other adult in the household behaving violently toward
another (e.g., slapping, hitting, kicking, punching, or beating each other
up).
7. Was ever the
victim of violence or witnessed any violence in his or her neighborhood; and
8. Experienced
economic hardship “somewhat often” or “very often” (i.e., the family found
it hard to cover costs of food and housing).
The more factors, the greater the need for children to receive extra
support from safe adults and learn positive coping skills to manage pressure
Children look to their parents for cues on how to relate to their
world. When parents are highly stressed, their children feel stressed.
Coronavirus can scare children now, which could create emotional problems for
months or even years to come. If a child feels overwhelmed by a continual flow
of sad or scary news, they don’t understand it leads to confusion about how the
world as they know it has changed. This is especially
troubling with young children who don’t have the life experience or
vocabulary to tell the adults in their life what hurts. Talking about emotions
is essential for mental health. Think of the wisdom given by Mister Rogers to children,
“Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is
mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they
become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.”
Bottled emotions do not go away, they either blow in toward
emotional fears, or blow up into angry or acting out behavior. In older kids
these fears can lead to anxiety, depression or
self-destructive behaviors like drugs, alcohol or even suicide. COVID-19 will
go away. The Centers for Disease Control or World Health Organization will
eventually find a vaccine, but untreated psychological damage will not go away
and could go on for years. Parents and teachers need to know what to do to
prevent that from happening now. Here is the first challenge.
Get down to the level of your child to gain
perspective on how to help
Think about the life of a five-year-old this school
year. Leaving mom and dad to go to school for the first time. Then getting used
to sitting in a desk, lining up to go to the lunch or recess and then pick up
line to answer the predictable question when they get into the van, “what
did you learn in school today?” When those patterns stopped as children switched
over to online learning with parents; moms and dads who may have been on
emotional overload with working from home to keep a job, or fighting with each
other about money or the frustration of not being able to manage all the
details of a culture changing over these many months of the pandemic.
A five-year-old doesn’t
know how to handle their parents being a ‘hot mess’. Children can’t
speak up to say, ‘could you calm down?’ to their parents, so I will say
it for them.
“Mommy and Daddy please calm down.”
Take a deep breath. Calm your anxious thoughts. Grab a
pen and use this guide to figure out how to help you son or daughter manage the
stress of this complex situation to be emotionally healthy. By the way – when
you are calm and figuring out options, your kids will calm down and learn to do
the same thing.
“Children are
more distressed when parents appear helpless and passive, and more comfortable
when parents are taking action.” – Dr. Richard
Weissbourd, Harvard
COVID-19 is complex for parents to understand. It can
be a very difficult for small children to grasp, but helpful videos like the
ones on PBS where Elmo teaches how to wash your hands to kill germs is a good
place to start.
Keep it simple with creative approaches about hand
washing from https://www.cdc.gov/handwashing/videos.html
or watching the wonderful resources on resiliency for young children at https://www.sesamestreet.org/toolkits/challenges
Coronavirus COVID-19
is serious. Thousands of people will get sick and the overwhelming majority
will get better. Start there. Children of every age can practice handwashing, wearing
a mask, covering coughs and sneezes, staying hydrated and getting enough rest.
These skills will keep them healthy now through a pandemic and for the rest of
their life.
And if you are worried about money during the COVID
recession remember these words -
Kids don’t worry about global economic indicators
because they don’t understand global economy. They aren’t supposed to be
worried about global events because they are just kids. As parents you aren’t
supposed to be worried about global events because you can’t control them. A
parent’s responsibility is to manage their home and children, not solve world
problems. When your children see you as a caregiver modeling healthy behavior,
they will begin to do the same. Children tend to do what children see.
As parents you do not have to stay in crisis response.
Breathe and change perspective. You can connect as a family and get through
this pandemic with emotional courage to stop confusion and chaos from entering
your home. Take care of what you can, act responsible and let go of the rest.
Worry about disease or recession will not help you or your children feel
better. Work at wellness and your kids will feel better because you feel
better.
Positive action as a family will get you through the
lockdown. Schedules, routines, tasks, schoolwork, family game time and meal
prep can connect your family in new ways. Take advantage of this time to draw
close and have family dinner again. One of the most requested resources
American citizens said they wanted more of was time. This pandemic has slowed
many typical activities allowing you and your family to have significant time
together. Make it count.
Release worry about the future to focus on today.
Decide to focus on your family and home
responsibilities first. Energy wasted on panic, “we’re all going to die!” or
blame, “why didn’t you buy more toilet paper?” or regret, “why didn’t
I go to school to be a doctor?”, or anger, “your coughing is going to
get us all killed!” is wasted energy
for parents and can be confusing to kids.
Better is to focus energy on an empowering question, ‘What
can we do about the situation we are in? What can we do to keep the kids safe?’
Moving from wasted energy to creative change is crucial for parents during
COVID-19. Part of this can be reaching out to other parents, Facebook supports,
Zoom, academic or YouTube resources on
managing stress and pressure for students. There are free resources on almost
anything you can think of. Give up the fear and grab hold of new skills to grow
through this global experience. Courage to change and creativity is in
abundance when you change perspective.
This is a stressful time, but
COVID-19 will end. Build a schedule designed toward purposeful activities. Kids
feel afraid if they see their caregivers afraid. Take a breath and begin to map
out a wellness schedule for the children and adults in your home. It’s normal
to feel scared, because nothing like this has ever happened in our country. We
can survive this better together. While it’s normal to feel scared, it becomes
unhealthy when people stay idle and silent. Break down the word emotion and you
have E-MOTION… get moving as you work your plans and watch how your kids perk
up with positive energy.
Dwight
Bain is a Nationally Certified Counselor who writes on managing crisis to
create positive change. He lives in Orlando with his wife, two kids and four
cats.
Follow
him across all social media @DwightBain
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