How Healing Emotional Wounds is Like Healing Physical Wounds
By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH
Physical wounds are easy to spot as they usually leave
physical evidence of an injury such as a broken bone or blood. They also leave emotional evidence such as
anxiety or pain. Emotional wounds, like
physical, can leave physical evidence such as loss of appetite or sudden
sickness. They also leave emotional
evidence such as depression or anger.
However they do not always leave evidence. These wounds are much harder to spot because
they have been hidden or denied for so long but far more devastating in the end
if not properly addressed.
To heal from a physical wound such as a large cut, you must
begin by realizing that you have a wound.
Then you need to asses if it is a wound you can manage or if it is a
wound that you need help managing. Your
next step is to clean out the wound, stitch the wound up if needed, and finally
bandage the wound. Failure to clean out
the wound effectively can lead to infection.
Healing from an emotion wound works much the same way.
Realizing you are
wounded. Emotional wounds are not as
obvious as blood pouring out of your body but they do have some familiar
signs. They can stem from any number of
traumatic situations such as a death of a loved one, sexual or physical abuse,
car accident, divorce, unexpected pregnancy, bankruptcy or witnessing a
crime. Common signs of emotional wounds
are depression, anxiety, anger outburst, isolation, change in interests,
lacking enjoyment from life, and change in personality. Realizing you are wounded and by what is the
first step.
Assessing your
abilities. One of the hardest steps
is to asses if you are able to manage the emotional wound yourself or if you
need help managing it. It is extremely
important that you accurately assess your abilities as in the example of a
large cut, if you are wrong about your ability to manage the wound, the
consequences can be lifelong. It is much
harder to clean out an infected wound that has already been improperly healed
than it is to deal with it when it is fresh.
If you have recently experienced a traumatic situation, being honest
with your abilities can be a life saving event.
Cleaning your
wound. Thoroughly cleaning out a
large cut can not only prevent infection but it will also help the wound to
heal faster than if you left it alone.
Cleaning out emotional wounds means revisiting the traumatic event and
allowing yourself the freedom to feel the emotional pain. It is also a time to confess any
responsibility you may have in contributing to the trauma. In the event of a large cut, you may have
been handling a knife improperly; in the event of a traumatic situation, you
may have ignored warning signs of danger.
Stitching your wound. Sometimes cleaning a large cut is not enough,
you might need a few stitches to facilitate the healing process and ensure that
it heals properly. Stitching up
emotional wounds means you recognize how other areas of your life have been
affected by the trauma. For instance, if
your traumatic moment was verbal abuse by a parent, a spouse yelling at you
could cause you to get overly angry and have an outburst. The wound of verbal abuse needs to be
stitched up before dealing with your spouse.
Bandaging your wound. The last step in the physical healing of a
large cut is to bandage it up to keep from reinjuring the area until it has
fully healed. Emotionally speaking,
bandaging up wounds is granting forgiveness, accepting a loss or gain of life,
being satisfied with less income or being peaceful in the midst of a
storm. Not that the pain has fully gone
away or that there won’t be a scar left after the bandage has been taken off
but rather there is calm where there used to be trauma.
All of these steps require time and patience with yourself
and others as you begin to work through them.
The best part of reaching the end of this journey is the ability to
guide others along the way because it is in watching their healing take place
that you are able to find meaning in yours.
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"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2011), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"
About the author- Christine Hammond is a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern at LifeWorks Group w/ over 15 years of experience as a counselor, mentor & teacher for children, teenagers & adults.
"Reprinted with permission from the LifeWorks Group weekly eNews, (Copyright, 2004-2011), To subscribe to this valuable counseling and coaching resource visit www.LifeWorksGroup.org or call 407-647-7005"
About the author- Christine Hammond is a Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern at LifeWorks Group w/ over 15 years of experience as a counselor, mentor & teacher for children, teenagers & adults.