The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC As a therapist, I hear my clients say, “I’m sorry” frequently. It is done when a person wants to move on to a different topic, when they are not truly remorseful, when they want to pacify their spouse, or when they are feeling defeated. None of these apologies are good because the underlying meaning is not authentic. This does not improve a relationship. A loving relationship requires some show of remorse for a couple to draw closer to each other. This shows genuine care and concern for how the other person thinks and feels. But when an apology is done badly, it can contribute to the deterioration of the relationship. Here are some inadequate examples. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” This is a passive-aggressive apology done to silence the other person and move onto a different topic. It minimizes what the other person has experienced. “I’m sorry but…” “But” is a qualifier. If a person cannot say sorry wit...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC One of the most frustrating experiences is to live or work with someone who is constantly passive-aggressive (PA). Their refusal to accept responsibility even for the most minuet things is aggravating. At home or work, there is a constant flow of tasks needing completion which are outside normal expectations. PA’s will not take the initiative and they refuse to see that the task needs to be done in the first place. When they finally agree to completing a task, it is rarely on-time, it lacks the quality they are capable of performing, and there is no added creative value. However, when a PA decides they are going to achieve some level, they shine. This is perhaps because the expectations for their performance are already reduced to lower levels based on previous experiences. Or it could be that they conserve all of their energy by not doing other things so that they have more energy supply to complete what they want. Or it could be that unless they make ...