The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC What is an affair? It is a sexual encounter, romantic comrade, or obsessive attachment between two people without a significant other’s knowledge. It can come in many forms but all of them have the underlying issue of a betrayal of trust, unfaithfulness to a commitment, and infidelity of the relationship. Sometimes it destroys the initial relationship and other times the relationship can survive. Over the years of counseling thousands of people, there have been many incidents of affairs in my clients. Some happened in the past, some in the present, and others are in the process of being contemplated for the future. The type of affair is important as it identifies what area a person needs to address in their own life to prevent it from happening again in the future. Here are the 13 types I have seen. One-nighter affair: This affair begins as a product of convenience. Two people are sexually interested in each other with the means, o...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC The release of names and emails hacked from the on-line cheater’s website Ashley Madison stirs up questions of fidelity even in the best of relationships. This is especially true in light of some high profile confessions. The website’s promise of anonymity has been comprised and what was done in secret is now being revealed. But before checking a partner’s email address on the hacked list, consider these things. 1.        Everyone is capable of making a mistake but not everyone does. No one is perfect. Having expectations of flawless living will only lead to disappointment. Committed healthy relationships demonstrate a willingness to admit errors, change behaviors, accept adjusted boundaries, and forgive. This is something both partners need to do. 2.        “ This above all: to thine own self be true.” (Polonius gives excellent advice to his son in Shakespeare’s Hamlet .) Before checking ...

By Matt W Sandford, LMHC You worked hard to cover up your infidelity, but then you were found out. Maybe at first there were suspicions that you were able to doge and accusations that you were able to head off or evidence that you were able to cover up or erase? But then the jig was up. Or maybe you got a conscience and got tired of all the lying? Or maybe you actually wanted to come clean and deal with your betrayal? But now it’s all out there. And your spouse is heartbroken and you are racked with guilt and shame. (I hope you are feeing guilt and shame, for these would be appropriate feelings. I don’t mean to say that I am wishing ill on you, I merely mean that unless you are feeling these emotions, you have little hope for redemption and recovery.) I am going to assume that you are struggling with you infidelity and that you want to successfully recover your life and your marriage. Otherwise you would be reading something about how to deceive your spouse, or ...

Restoring a Marriage Ravaged by Infidelity By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS Carrie Underwood, former American Idol winner and now-famous country singer made a fortune off her hit, “Before He Cheats”, describing her violent and destructive reaction to discovering her man at a bar with another woman. She speculates about how he is wooing this other woman while she, herself, slashes his truck tires, busts out his headlights, and basically destroys his prized pickup. Apparently, this song struck a chord with America. The song rocked the music charts, stayed #1 for 5 weeks, and won the People’s Choice award in 2007 for “favorite country music song”. Infidelity in marriage has always been a major problem. In ancient days and in some cultures it was accepted as the norm….even expected…that a husband would take a lover in addition to his wife. Of course, that attitude has changed in our society and in our time but infidelity continues to be prevalent, wreaking havoc on thous...