Showing posts from July, 2010

Doing the Remarkable

by Jim Rohn

When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you’ve run out of money, when you don’t feel well and it’s all gone sour? What can you do?
Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. People can do incredible things, unbelievable things, despite the most impossible or disastrous circumstances.
Here is why humans can do remarkable things: because they are remarkable. Humans are different than any other creation. When a dog starts with weeds, he winds up with weeds. And the reason is because he’s a dog. But that’s not true with human beings. Humans can turn weeds into gardens.
Humans can turn nothing into something, pennies into fortune, and disaster into success. And the reason they can do such remarkable thin…


By: Linda Riley, LMFT

We live in a very stressful world. The daily news reports often leave us uneasy if not downright frightened. People are starting to feel depressed about world economics and worry about having enough financial resources to take care of themselves and their families. Many of us are either unemployed or concerned about the possibility of job loss. Our significant relationships should offer us an escape from the pressures of living in the modern world; yet, often they too bring stress and conflict into our lives. We seem to frequently miss the joy of the moment because we are either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. We struggle to keep our priorities in order. We long for a life of peace, security and love.

Do you frequently find yourself saying, “There never seems to be enough time in a day”?
This feeling of lack of time is our convenient excuse for not being able to relax, unwind and enjoy the moment. We need to find time to focus on our …

Paradigm of Performance: A Value system with No Value

By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

Where do you find value? How do you know that you’re important in this world? What makes you feel special? Do you even feel valuable?

These are important…no, essential questions that we must ask ourselves because the answers to these questions will determine how much impact we will make on our world. It’s true…the answers to these questions directly tie into our sense of contentment, joy, motivation, and relationships. Where do you seek value in this life?
For many, and I DO mean many, the answer is that they seek their value in their performance. How much are they DOING? How good is their behavior? How many mistakes are they making? Are they achieving excellence or simply mediocrity? How do others view their performance level? Are they scoring an A or and F on the report card of their lives…maybe a C……oops… it’s a D, no... a B….no, an A……oh, I don’t know. Whether it is in the secular world or in the realm of Christianity, much of the…

SMOTHERING MOTHERING: How to undermine the emotional maturity of your son

By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC, CSOTS

The biggest question I face as I write this article is, “how do I tactfully address such a sensitive, yet pertinent, topic?” There is no easy answer to this question and yet the ramifications of a controlling and overprotective style of parenting on the emotional growth of young men absolutely must be addressed.
There are many reasons that mothers emotionally smother their sons:
1. Fear of their sons being hurt
2. Fear that their sons might encounter failure
3. Internal guilt in the mother
4. A strong desire to protect their sons from the world’s evil
5. Overcompensation for an absent or uninvolved father
6. A controlling personality, in general.
Many of these reasons (and others that are unmentioned) are founded in good intentions and based on the love mothers have for their boys. 9 out of 10 mothers do not smother their sons because they have evil intentions or because they are abusive in nature. Most mothers are overprotective simply because….well….t…


By Aaron Welch, LMHC

Before I begin with my topic, let me just say that I am fully aware that I am about to sound like my father used to, telling me about how he had to walk several miles to school, in the snow, by foot, with wild packs of dogs chasing him all the way. Okay, he never said the last part but you know what I mean. Anyway, this is my official disclaimer that I realize that I am going to sound somewhat outdated by the reference to my own childhood that I am about to make. (Sigh).......I can’t help it! I’m bothered by this so I have to get it off of my chest. (I know.....get on with it, Aaron).
Here it is.....I remember that, as a young boy in rural Ohio, I would play and play outside until dark and then I would get really upset when I had to go inside. (dramatic pause to let this amazing truth sink in)..................................................................What? You don’t think that is such an interesting fact? Sheesh.........tough crowd. Seriously, we w…

Are you raising Confident kids or “Cling-on’s?”

By Dwight Bain

Every stage of life can be stressful whether you are two or twenty-two. So how can a parent instill greater strength to help their son or daughter move forward through those stages with confidence instead of being needy and insecure? Here is a formula to show you the extremes in behavior of children and why it’s important to see little decisions as great opportunities to grow up strong.

Cling Confidence

Insecure Secure

Peer pressure Individual strength

No direction Focused with direction

Identity from parents desires Identity from God’s design

The last category is the most important to prevent emotional needy or clinging behavior. When a child is over-protected by their parents they often feel safe and comfortable because they don’t have to fac…


by Jim Rohn

One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized age is the fact we've lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean:

For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It's then when he must work around the clock, up before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Eventually winter comes when there is less for him to do to keep him busy.

There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It's easy to keep going from nine to five year in and year out and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don't let one year blend into another i…

Be The One: Serve

In life, it's not what happens to you, but what happens in you and through you that counts. When adversity visits your life, you have two choices: to be a victim or to be a victor. Victims allow life circumstances to get them down, and they spend their lives asking others to redress the grievances life has dealt them. Victims are needy and demand to be served. Victors, on the other hand, rise above the challenges they encounter. They rebound from life's hardships with newfound strength, and they use their strength in service of those around them.

A Train of Tragedy

Juliette Magill Kinzie Gordon was born in 1860 to a wealthy family in Savannah, Georgia. Far from the typical Southern belle, Juliette was willful and tomboyish, always in search of adventure. She was the type of person never to be caught sitting still; she enjoyed trying new things and traveling new places.

In her mid-twenties, the first of a series of misfortunes struck Juliette. Suffering from chronic earaches, she…

Be the One: Change

By John C. Maxwell

Change. Politicians promise it when they run for office, but seldom are the pledges made from campaign podiums matched by real, measurable results after an election. In fairness to our politicians, initiating change and carrying it through to completion is a monumental challenge. Attempts to bring about change encounter fierce opposition and entrenched resistance.

Although most leaders perceive a need for change, few leaders can convince others to believe in change, and fewer still can actually achieve change. In this edition of Leadership Wired, we'll look at what it takes to be a leader who not only talks about change but also is able to make it happen.

Nine Qualities of a Leader Who Achieves Change...

1) Considers Conditions

Just because a change could be made doesn't mean it should be made. Sometimes an organization lacks the people, resources, or energy to successfully implement change. Leaders have to be sensitive to the rhythm of the organization in orde…

Lessons from the Life of a Trustworthy Coach

On June 4th, the nation mourned the death of legendary UCLA Bruins coach John Wooden, a man revered as much for his off-court character as his on-court genius.

On the court, Wooden's exploits were unmatched. His teams captured seven straight titles, won 88 consecutive games, and had a perfect 10-0 record in championship contests. Overall, Wooden compiled a 664-162 record, a winning percentage of over 80%.

Away from the spotlight, Coach Wooden earned the admiration and devotion of his players because he was trustworthy. He was a principled man and could be counted upon to live out his values. As sportswriter Eric Neel observed, Wooden displayed rare and refreshing fidelity, "The man is simply, steadily faithful, to his God, to his principles, to his family and his friends, to the creed in his pocket, the poem in his den and the shrine on his bed." John Wooden lived authentically, and his commitment to his ideals left behind a legacy of greatness.

Trustworthy to Give His Bes…

Cross-examining Credibility

By John C. Maxwell

In a criminal trial, the outcome hinges on the credibility of the witnesses called upon by the prosecution and the defense. Throughout the trial, jurors scrutinize each person who takes the stand, attempting to discern whether or not their words can be trusted. As they decide the case, jurors weigh heavily the statements given by believable witnesses, but they discard the testimony of anyone they deem to be incredible.

As a leader, you're on the witness stand. Those you lead are like jurors, inspecting your behavior and dissecting your words. They expect you to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. If you lose your credibility with them, they will tune out when you speak. However, if you prove yourself to be credible then they will hang on every word you say.

Your credibility as a leader rests upon three pillars:


First and foremost, reliability is a matter of character. Jurors carefully consider the prior conduct of a witness wh…

The Three Stages of Equipping

By John C. Maxwell

Good leaders deliberately seek out and find potential leaders. Great leaders not only find them, but also equip them to be great leaders.

Three Stages of Equipping

Stage One: Position Gives You a Platform

Adding value is the essence of equipping others, and you can add value in any direction: to your superiors, peers, or followers. Obviously, you have the most authority when you're the boss. However, even if you aren't in charge, you have immense capacity to equip others through the ideas and resources you share. When it comes to equipping, proximity matters just as much hierarchy. You'll naturally influence those closest to you: whether you're above or below them on the organizational chart.

Stage Two: Respect Gives You Permission

People naturally follow leaders stronger than themselves. That's the Law of Respect. Consequently, people will dismiss your attempts to equip them until they're able to assess whether or not they respect you. Respect i…

5 Ways to Equip Your People During a Downturn

In his bestselling book, Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell draws attention to the "summer vacation achievement gap" a phenomenon explaining why the academic performance of low-income children tends to lag behind their peers. Studies have shown that students of all income levels make comparable progress during the school year. However, during the summer months, the academic development of kids from affluent households far outpaces that of children from low-income homes.

What makes the difference? Kids from wealthy families are equipped with resources and opportunities to further their education during summer vacation. They participate in summer camps and reading programs, frequent the local library and are surrounded by books at home. On the other hand, students from poorer backgrounds often have no reading material at home and do not have access to educational opportunities in their community. As a result of being ill-equipped during summertime, students from impoverished neighborh…