Showing posts from February, 2009

From the desk of Coach Bill McCartney

Coach Bill McCartney Chairman of the Board/CEO

Dear Friends,

Please join me and thousands of other men to hear about our vision for PK's future; Saturday March 14, 2009 we will meet in Orlando to kick off the vision for our 20th anniversary event. This event will RE-LAUNCH THE MINISTRY back to our roots as a catalytic event ministry that calls men to be better followers of Jesus Christ. This event is free, but you have to pre-register at

As PK's founder, it is exciting and challenging to return as Chairman of the Board of Directors. I would like to speak on behalf of our PK team. Thank you for your commitment to Promise Keepers over the years! I want to take this opportunity to share with you how I believe God wants Promise Keepers to accomplish its ongoing vision of “Men Transformed Worldwide.”

First, it's important to say that our Statement of Faith is our firm footing. Second, The Seven Promises of a Promise Keeper remain central to what makes Promise Kee…

Chill Out Mom & Dad... It's Only POT!

Chill Out Mom & Dad... It's Only POT!

As I was talking to my son Brandon's girlfriend today I realized I ask her quite frequently "is this what is really going on out there?" Even though I am a therapist who sees a great number of adolescent girls for various issues and keep current with the latest research, culture news, and internet social web sites--well, to be honest, sometimes it all seems too much for even me to believe. Moms, dads, grandma's, and grandpa's what I am finding out is that sex, drugs, and inappropriate internet use is the juggernaut in lives far to young to know how to deal with these life altering choices. Elizabeth has been my outside voice many times confirming" yes indeed Dee, all that you are hearing inside your office really is going on out there". So, as we spoke this morning an idea was born and we have decided to share it with you. Elizabeth is young, intelligent, and very well plugged in to what is happening in th…

Meet Fearful Fred

Dr. John C. Maxwell

Maybe you know him. Meet Fearful Fred. He takes to risk like a cat takes to water. Fred is constantly undermining himself with a built-in fear of failure. Fearful Fred means well, but more than anyone on your team, he needs your support.

Start by listening to him. Take Fred aside and encourage him to share his fears. Once you've identified his fears, try to help him determine why he has them.

The next step is to help Fred tap into his desire to overcome his fears and succeed. As his leader, you must endeavor to help him harness that desire.

As soon as Fred is ready to take the plunge, lead him in a project that will give him a win under his belt. To maximize Fred's chance of success, be sure to include the following elements:

1. Strategy: Begin by planning a project together; including Fred increases his ownership and confidence; including yourself insures success.

2. Structure: Once you have a plan, give Fred very specific guidelines to follow. Remember, Fred&#…

Men in Mid-Life have a choice- Mature or create a Crisis

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

The middle years of life create massive changes for men and women. Both go through a major shift physically, spiritually and psychologically. Women face more of a physical change as they go through menopause, while men face more of a psychological change during the time commonly referred to as the middle years, or simply, mid-life.

The Bridge of Mid-life is not always a crisis

Every man goes through a predictable series of physical and psychological changes. So it's helpful to view this process as a series of bridges that men have to cross at different stages of life, beginning in youth and going all the way to the senior adult years. All men will cross a bridge in the middle years of life, (somewhere in the 40’s or 50’s for most), but not all men will experience a crisis because of it.

This bridge is positioned halfway through life, so it’s a time to mature into more of an elder statesman, family patriarch o…

Too Damaged to Love Again?

By Linda Riley, LMFT and Certified Sex Therapist

Stories of trauma and pain are part of my normal day as a therapist. I hear about hurt that starts in early childhood for some and continuing throughout life for others. Have you ever wondered how early childhood pain or trauma affect ones capacity to love? And to those who have been serious hurt, it possible to be so damaged emotionally that you actually can't love again?

To start answering that important question, let's look at the research. There seems to be a significant increase in the number of people in our culture who exhibit narcissistic personality traits. They learn to deal with their hurt by over loving themselves. While there may be a difference between traits of a narcissistic personality and full fledged narcissistic personality disorder, it is getting harder to diagnose and distinguish. When I was a graduate student narcissistic personality disorder was commonly believed to be present in only about 1 % of the pop…

Recession hurts most when you are Married to an Unmotivated Man

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach;
With Linda Riley, LMFT & Certified Sex Therapist

Right now you know a woman working at least two jobs, (not counting parenting children and running a household), who is married to an unmotivated man. It may be a co-worker, a sister, a neighbor or friend at church, but you know this woman. Here’s what you don’t know.

She’s hurting more now than she ever has before. Why? Because recession hurts the most when you’re married to an unmotivated man.

These women have a major problem, they believe they really love the guy on the couch who just can’t or won’t keep a job. This causes another major problem, because they don’t want their children to suffer or do without the basics, like new shoes, school supplies or playing little league. And so they do the only thing they think they can do- they work, and work and then they work some more. Work is all they do because an average family needs 60-80 hours of income to take c…

In- law wars causing Continual Conflict?

What to do when a mother-in-law is at war with her son’s new wife

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Family Law Mediator

Dozens of times a year I am involved in mediating a common, but often rarely discussed major family dispute. This virtual 'civil war' tears apart a family for years and occurs between a very unhappy new mother-in-law and her equally unhappy daughter-in-law. Basically the battle is over who will be the main influence in this young man's life, and the younger he is, the more likely he will cut out of the conflict to let these two most significant women in his life just vent on each other. That's a terrible plan, since it only creates more hurt feelings for everyone. There are no winners in this type of conflict, only wounded survivors.

This is a very common source of conflict, and one that frequently pops up to worsen around holidays or special occasions where traditional family functions are forced to change and make some majo…

5 Reasons Character Sustains Leaders

by Dr. John C. Maxwell, Best-Selling Author

A critical mistake that I made as a young leader was that I used to think that charisma was the most important aspect of leadership. In the beginning, I focused on charisma because I know that leadership attracts, and leadership influences people. Therefore I thought, "Well, if I'm going to influence people I've got to develop charisma in my life." I've been around enough boring leaders to say that is a desire that most of us should have!

What I learned is that character is the most important aspect of leadership, not charisma. Charisma attracts, but character sustains. In fact, I think charisma, in the area of leadership, is overrated.

Character embodies who you really are. It's the inner fiber of your being. It is your inner self in action. It reveals what you are truly made of, it's your substance. Character is, as D. L. Moody said, "What you are in the dark."

If you have charisma without character, it&…

Strategies to change ADD into a blessing instead of curse

by Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life CoachIs ADD a blessing or a curse?

The answer is probably going to be different depending on who you ask. For some teachers and school systems, it may be a curse because of the difficulty motivating highly creative and over stimulated kids. However, for the parents of these high energy children, I believe ADD can be a great blessing when the parents or guardians learn what to do to guide the steps of these supercharged kids toward greater success, instead of feeling greater frustration and stress. ADD is the common acronym for a medical condition called Attention Deficit Disorder, (ADHD is the acronym for Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, which is similar to ADD, but with considerably more difficulties in controlling physical impulses.) According to a recent study from the National Institutes of Health, and published in the September 2007 issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

An estimat…

Teen Rebellion or Conduct Disorder?

~ A Special Parenting Report from Dwight Bain

Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

Likely everybody has heard about or knows a teenager or young adult who has experienced trouble with the law or who has been expelled from school or perhaps even threatened someone at school, sometimes with a weapon. People know these teens have problems, but they may not know these behaviors can be symptoms of a very real psychiatric illness affecting approximately 9 percent of all boys and 2 percent of all girls under the age of 18 in the United States.

Rebellion- is open opposition to authority or tradition.

Usually the word rebellion implies disobedience when there should be obedience. The ancient French word for rebel is 'rebelle,' which means “to wage war again.” ~ Webster's Dictionary

These symptoms describe what is commonly called a “conduct disorder,” or "Oppositional Defiant Disorder," which is a behavioral problem characterized by uncontrolled anger, rebe…