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Showing posts from 2008

Thriving Through the Holidays

by Jim Rohn, executive coach & best-selling author

The holidays are upon us; a time of celebration and joy. I love the last days of November through the beginning of the New Year. The pure magic of the holidays is something that I anticipate and enjoy each and every year.

For some though, the holidays have lost the joy and excitement they at other times have had. The pace of life has grown so fast - much faster than those first holidays I remember in my life - that some people don't enjoy the times they get to spend with their family and friends during what is supposed to be days filled with joy and peace.

Why is that? Probably a lot can be laid at the feet of how fast paced our times are, but that isn't all.
I believe our holiday times should be wonderful and filled with lasting and enjoyable moments and memories. So how can we ensure that we come out of the holidays in January with great memories of the past month? Here are six thoughts that will help you experience the holi…

Dangers of Media "Riptides"

Positive steps to protect kids from negative media exposure
By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Life Coach & Author

If you live near an ocean, you know about riptides, which are highly dangerous currents that can rip your legs out from under you and sweep you out into the ocean depths in a matter of seconds. If you try to fight the current, you will drown as dozens of people in Florida do every year. These silent and powerful ocean currents can overpower even the strongest of swimmers because the size and force of the waves become completely overwhelming. There is only one way to escape and save your life so listen carefully; “Don’t try to fight the riptide, just flow with it as you swim parallel to the shoreline. In a few dozen feet you will be out of the strong current and can safely swim back to the shore.”

So, if you have to deal with a dangerous ocean riptide, you have three choices… First- stay out of the water (and don’t let anyone you love go near it eit…

How To Survive the Economic Meltdown

Spiritual and Financial Strategies for You and Your FriendsBy Patrick Morley, PhD

Chapter One
You’re Going to Get Through This

People are getting laid off. Men can’t find jobs. Companies are being forced to do layoffs. People are taking pay reductions. Bills are going unpaid. Budgets are getting slashed. Home values have plummeted. Savings accounts are rapidly being emptied out. Investments have gone up in smoke.

And that’s just in my family.

Our nation and the world are in an economic meltdown of freakish proportions. How are you going to survive?

Maybe you’ve lost your job—or fear it. Maybe you’ve watched your investments or paycheck shrink. Perhaps your business is way off.

Or maybe you’re “okay,” but still worry how it’s all going to turn out. Inevitably, you have family and friends struggling to make ends meet.

Much will be written in the days ahead about why this happened (humanly speaking), who is to blame, how to fix it, and when it will be over. However, this book will not touch on a…

DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU BUY THAT CAR?

by Charlie "Tremendous" Jones

How many of you are under sixteen?
How do you like the idea that you might be driving a Cadillac when you're sixteen?
When my son was your age, he wasn't quite as excited as you. I said, "Jerry, do you want to have a car when you're sixteen?"
"Yes."
"Do you want me to help you buy that car?"
"Yes sir, dad."
"Alright, son, we're going to do it, but the free ride's over. No more allowance. I'm going to give you a way to make a lot of money. Here is the deal. I am going to pick out books for you to read. There will be motivational books, history books, inspirational books; and every time I give you a book, you give me a book report. Every time I get a book report, I'll put money in your car fund. Another book report; more money in the car fund. In two years if you read in style, you'll drive in style. But if you read like a bum, you're going to drive like a bum."

Ove…

Powerful words from leaders about developing the attitude of gratitude

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Life isn't just about you. It's about family and friends and giving back. ~ Reese Witherspoon

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. ~ Cicero

Individuals and families are feeling pressures of the economy, bad news from television, and a sense of hopelessness and despair that is scary. The coming season can be one of high stress, or one of a newly defined perspective. Despite your circumstances, a shift in focus, a change in thought, and adjustment of perspective can take you and your family to a better place, a place of hope, and yes, even joy. Research validates what you and I already know, that having an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness can go a long way in helping us be healthy and balanced. ~ John Thurman, MA

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "thank y…

Mentors Make the Difference

The benefits of having a leader come alongside to achieve greater results

By Dwight Bain, NCC, Founder of the LifeWorks Group of Counselors & Coaches

Last week I was honored to spend some time with Dr. Elmer Towns, co-founder of Liberty University, and a man who mentored me during graduate school. It was a great experience to catch up with an old friend, made even better because I could introduce him to Sheila and our teenage children. It was a blessing to hear this mentor to so many, sit and spend time talking to our kids about the value of having godly leaders who come alongside to invest in your life. While you may never have met Elmer Towns, so many things I do to help people today, I learned by watching him interact and mentor others back then.

When I met this man over 25 years ago I had no idea how much he would impact my future. There is an old saying I heard once that said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” Often you may not realize the tremendous value bro…

STOP! Don't Invest in the stock market Invest in yourself

Deedra Hunter, M.S., LMHC


I sat in the closet clutching 3 scared small children as we listened to the winds of hurricane Andrew greedily chewing up every material possession in our soon to be completely destroyed house. I had no idea, at that moment, the most frequently asked question about that night would be “what were you thinking?”

I sat by my big tree in the backyard of our Miami lake house and sobbed as I had never sobbed before in my life. I had just made the decision to get a divorce. The beautiful solid tree that my little children had swung from, that wonderful tree I thought I would grow old under, was now going to grow old without me. Everything I thought was certain was not. And again, I had no idea the most frequently asked question about that day would be” what were you thinking?”

My answer was the same in both separate instances and it is the same answer I have when people ask what am I thinking about todays financial distress the coun…

An Undisputed Advantage

by Ron White, Coach & Best-Selling Author

Sometimes success in life is a result of setting yourself apart from your competition or simply everyone else. There is one behavior that, without a doubt, will give you an advantage over those around you. I will allow Thomas Jefferson to share what that is. He once said, "Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances."

Have you ever been in a stressful situation or in a storm of life in which you were not able to maintain your cool? It happens to all of us. Billy Joel puts it this way in his hit song "Pressure":

But you will come to a placeWhere the only thing you feelAre loaded guns in your faceAnd you'll have to deal withPressure

Jefferson and Joel are in agreement that you will have to handle pressure. Jefferson suggests that how you respond to that pressure can give you a distinct advantage over those around you.

Accepting the fact that you wil…

When should you get help for your marriage?

A LifeWorks Group Counseling Checklist

These are the most common factors that can lead to marital crisis. As you read through this list, think about your relationship or the relationship of your friends and co-workers and then focus on the importance of working through issues now to find peace and connection instead of growing distance and eventual divorce.

___When children become the exclusive focus of the marriage

___When one marriage partner dominates or controls the other

___When blaming, shouting, sarcasm or threats become commonplace

___When drugs or alcohol abuse is an issue

___When physical or sexual abuse occurs

___When sexual or financial issues are ignored or are a constant battleground

___When trust is violated over money, morality or unexplained absences

___When affection and kindness to each other ceases

___When outside factors (job stress, child issues, financial crisis) increase

___When it is easier to discuss feelings with someone of the opposite sex other than your marriage par…

What are the psychological dynamics behind women and worry?

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

Women worry about many different topics, from men to body image to relationships to their mother's approval; yet the same psychological drive is fueling this stressful emotion no matter what triggers it. I believe the real source behind the worry most women feel is control.

Not control in the sense of being a manipulative monster, (like Jane Fonda's character in the film “Monster in Law), rather it's the need to know what's happening around her so she can feel empowered and in control of her emotions and environment.

Think of it this way. When control goes up, worry goes down because the more a woman can understand the more she will automatically feel a sense of security and confidence inside.

However, as a situation begins to feel out of control, worry dramatically increases, leading to more serious conditions like Social Phobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorders or even Panic Attacks if left untreat…

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,When the funds are low and the debts are high,And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,When care is pressing you down a bit,Rest if you must; but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,As everyone of us sometimes learns,And many a failure turns aboutWhen he might have won had he stuck it out;Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer thanIt seems to a faint and faltering man,Often the struggler has given upWhen he might have captured the victor's cup.And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out;

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;And you never can tell how close you are,It may be near when it seems afar;So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Understanding the psychology of Post-Election Stress Syndrome

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor

A major election leads to major change- psychologically that is. No matter who wins an election, the unexpected emotional let down or explosive reaction after the ballots are counted can be overwhelming to many, especially the aged or over-involved who can be set up for crushing amounts of what I call Post-Election Stress Syndrome.

This election has likely been the most stressful of any during our lifetime because of numbing news fatigue and continual media over-exposure, yet the real problems are yet to come. Personal anxiety, professional panic and poorly thought out decisions are on the horizon regardless of your political persuasion.

Why such a gloomy projection?

It’s based on how this election process has been so overwhelming much of the time with months of negative news, never ending data to process and confusing choices to make on complex issues while partisan experts are shouting every half-hour on news/talk stations that we a…

When Kids Carry their Parent's Pain

The warning signs of children facing complex family crisis

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach

A dad loses a job. A family spits up through divorce. A grandparent dies. A drunk driver crashes into a mini-van and a mom is left in a coma. A natural disaster or foreclosure forces a family into the sad situation of having to leave a neighborhood and home behind.

There are dozens of complex situations that affect families every day, yet often the emotional pain lasts for years in the hearts and minds of the kids who go through tough times. When children are exposed to high levels of stress they can struggle in four primary areas which reflect their parent’s pain. Think of the four points of a compass and you can gain a sense of how kids carry their parent’s pain- over-perform, under-perform, blowing up or blowing in. Here’s a quick over-view of these four primary factors to help you identify the warning signs and symptoms, as well as to know when to reach…

The Samson Syndrome

Why Strong Men Fall into Lustful Addictions

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor

Sarah woke up from a deep sleep at 3 AM and realized that her husband wasn’t in bed, so she got up to see if he was okay. She was not prepared for what she saw next. Her husband of 27 years, who she respected as a godly man, was sitting in front of their home computer in some sort of “trance” while looking at the most sexually graphic pictures she had ever seen. “Mark,” she shouted! “What are you doing?” Mark was shocked to see her, but then looked up into the confused eyes of his wife and sobbed out, “I don’t know.”

Sadly this sort of scene is played out every single day in Christian homes across the country. Research shows there are over 1,000 “adult” (pornographic) sites added to the internet every week, which are readily available to anyone surfing the web looking for a quick sexual thrill. Sexual addiction is a huge problem in Christian circles. The Christian Men’s group ‘Promise Keepers’ took…