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Showing posts from January, 2007

STOP PUTTING THE CART AHEAD OF THE HORSE - A Sons Need To Feel Valuable To his Father Written by: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC

My last article focused on the growing issue of mother/son conflict and the response I have gotten has confirmed the trends I am seeing between moms and their boys. However, it is important for me to note that the relationship between fathers and their sons is still primary to emotional health and the overall development of boys.
In this article, I want to caution all of us dads out there to make sure we don’t put the “cart ahead of the horse”. You know, make sure first things are first when dealing with our sons. This is a sensitive area because the truth is that many of us guys don’t have a clear idea of how to build a healthy relationship with our boys. The reason for this is because many of us had fathers that were equally uncomfortable in the process of building intimate relationships. It is so true that many of us grew up with dads who were much more comfortable in their roles at work than they were in their roles at home. In general, men have more difficulty than w…

BUT HE IS STILL MY BABY! A Closer Look at Mother/Son Conflict During Adolescence. By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC

Oh, how things can change. Maybe it’s all in my head but I am noticing a dramatic shift in parent/child conflict lately. It used to be that I would work with teenage guys and their big issue would be with a demanding and overbearing father. The common problem was that their dad was always wanting to control them and was in their business all the time and that these boys never could live up to their dad’s expectations. I would see lots of anger come out in these boys but, in this scenario, there was also a strong underlying sense of pride in their fathers and the urge to relate to them in a powerful way. I would have to say that this scenario was the norm for a long time. I believe I am noticing a real shift in the issues I see now amongst adolescent guys. Not that there are no controlling or overbearing fathers anymore. This is still a fairly common issue that I deal with in the counseling room. But, there has been a subtle but very noticeable movement in our culture. I dare say that …

What Motivates a Man? Written by: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC

I’m sure that many of you who are reading this would LOVE to answer the question of what makes a man do what he does. I would dare say that this is a burning question in the hearts of many of those readers who might be, well...........of another gender. Just as men often question why females act the way they do, women have to wonder why on earth the men they love handle life in the strange and mysterious ways they do. Certainly, there are many facets and underlying factors in what drives a man to pursue life in a particular manner. I mean, we’re truly not the simpletons we are painted out to be, are we? (Notice I am now writing in 1st person, as I fit into the “male” category). Actually, “simple” is the last way I would describe my fellow comrades. In being truthful, every man is different and every man is unique; each of us develop our ways of coping from a combination of natural temperament and the environmental factors we were exposed to as we developed. It would not be fair…