Showing posts from June, 2007

“ET TU, BRUTE?” Don’t Let Betrayal Bury Your Heart By: Aaron Welch, LMHC, NCC

“Et Tu, Brute?”

These are the words of Caesar after he realizes his best friend and confidante was a party to his assassination, as written in Shakespeare’s well-known tragedy. Translated, this phrase means, “You too, Brutus?”

Wow! Only three short words but one can feel the genuine surprise and heartfelt pain that only surfaces when a person is betrayed by someone they believed they could trust. If there are situations that cause more pain than this, they are few. It is the husband who comes home early from work to discover his bride in the arms of another. It is the fluttering pain felt in the pit of the stomach when you stand alone, surrounded by laughing peers, and notice that your best friend is joining in with the laughter. It’s sharing your heart with someone you love only to have that person grossly mishandle it and allow it (or cause it) to shatter into pieces.

It is betrayal. And its effects on us are devastating and potentially lethal to our hearts. If we are betrayed severely…

“Which Would You Rather Be: Your Child’s Parent or Friend?” Lyris Bacchus Steuber, LMFT

"Who first introduced you to cigarettes and marijuana?” I asked. "My parents," reported Jake, a fourteen year-old client of mine. This might sound shocking to you but can be on the extreme of what parents are indulging their kids in today. One of the most common questions I get from parents who bring their troubled teens to therapy is, “What can I do to get my son or daughter to like me again?" This often comes from a parent who has been on the receiving end of statements such as "I hate you”, or “you don't understand me." So in an effort to get their teen to "like them again" parents will often become over-indulgent and too permissive to the extreme of indulging their teen in every video game system or designer handbag.

If you are a parent struggling with wanting your son or daughter to like you, you need to first give up that notion that they should. Teenagers like celebrities, sports cars, movies and video games. Teenagers should res…

10 Ingredients for Healthy Teenage Dating by Lyris Steuber, LMFT

Do you remember when you first fell in love? If you are a teen you probably remember how you felt when your boyfriend first told you he loved you or the rushes of emotions you felt when you first came out together as a couple around your friends. Finding first love in high school is a regular part of teen-age life though your parents wish you could delay it. Most teens move from relationship to relationship very quickly. Within a matter of weeks or months they fall in and out of love without the relationship becoming very meaningful. However, some relationships do stick for the better but sometimes for the worst. When asked what they are looking for in someone to date most teenagers will say, “Someone who likes me and I can have fun with.” Sadly, most teens don’t always know what to look for in a healthy relationship.

20% of American Teenage girls reported that they have been hit, slapped or forced into sexual activity by their partners. Still more have experienced the emotional…

Mentoring Matters- What I learned from Jerry Falwell By Dwight Bain, Founder of the LifeWorks Group

The death of the Reverend Jerry Falwell on May 15, 2007 brought a flood of emotions to my mind… since he was one of my first mentors and for a season he was my pastor. You see, I was a student at Liberty University in the early 1980’s, a school I chose in part because of the leadership and communication style of Dr. Falwell. I saw how effectively he was able to carry a positive message to the community through media platforms and wanted to learn how to do the same. I admired his courage to stand on biblical principles to teach what he strongly believed to be God’s truth on traditional values.

By God’s grace, and the help of a lot of friends I was selected to a leadership position as student body president of the graduate school and seminary, which allowed me to have a great deal of behind the scenes access to Dr. Falwell. I saw that he was a visionary, totally focused and goal directed no matter what the circumstances. He was a tremendous mentor who made a huge impact on my life. Here …

Ouch! That Word Hurt! by Deedra Hunter, LMHC

I have never had sticks and stones hurled at me but- words? A half century ago it was called “teasing” and no one paid much attention to it. Today, we call it bullying and the practice of it is getting a lot of attention. Why? Because words do hurt, and can cause long term psychological problems known as post traumatic stress disorder. If you or a loved one has ever been bullied you know how much it hurts and how those painful memories seem to always be lurking in the background of your life.

What is bulling? Bullying, like other forms of abuse, is about power and control. The bully will name call, abandon, scare, threaten, and manipulate.

What does the bully look like? Perhaps you think a bully looks tough and mean but not necessarily. He or she may be good looking, well dressed, and extremely well mannered. The bullies who are beautiful, friendly, and charming are the most dangerous because they catch you completely off guard. They also are clever never to have witnesses around when t…

Brains and Butter by Deedra Hunter, LMHC

Every month the leading magazines feature a new diet with an old promise – loose weight fast! Thousands have renewed hope this one will work and this time will be different. Of course, they “fail” again and the cycle continues. Could there be something more to this problem? We blame ourselves for lack of willpower but, as the eating disorder specialist for the LifeWorks Group, I have always suspected the chemistry of the brain propels us to overreact as much as our emotions do. Will power is a very over-rated, over-relied on virtue. According to the recent issue of Time magazine my suspicions have been correct. This is a must read for all of you who want to become better informed with the newest research concerning why we eat what we do, when we do, and how much we do.

Written by: Deedra Hunter is a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor who has also published a book called; Winning Custody: A Woman’s Guide to Retaining Custody of Her Children.