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Showing posts from May, 2005

The Samson Syndrome

How Strong Men Fall into Lustful Addictions
By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor, Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Sarah woke up from a deep sleep at 3 AM and realized that her husband wasn’t in bed, so she got up to see if he was okay. She was not prepared for what she saw next. Her husband of 27 years, who she respected as a godly man, was sitting in front of their home computer in some sort of “trance” while looking at the most sexually graphic pictures that she had ever seen. “Mark,” she shouted! “What are you doing?” Mark was shocked to see her, but then looked up into the confused eyes of his wife and sobbed out, “I don’t know.”

Sadly this sort of scene is played out every single day in Christian homes. The research shows that there are over 1,000 “adult” pornographic sites added to the internet every week, which are readily available to anyone surfing the web looking for a quick sexual thrill. Sexual addiction is a huge problem in Christian circles. The Christian Men’s gro…

Why Can’t I Have What I Want?

By: Jessica Gilstrap, LMHC
More and more these days, we find parents having to justify to their children why all of their wants and wishes are not met. Often we find that the parents are feeling guilty, because so many of our children today “expect”, “feel entitled” and even “demand” that all of their wishes be fulfilled freely.

Many of my discussions with parents often center themselves around the subject of “Entitlement”, and their child’s perception of the world. “I am, therefore I am entitled to my wishes, because everyone else has whatever it is that I want.” This is not a new challenge, but one that has become much more prevalent as our society has become more affluent and financially stratified.

Most of our teenagers today are grandchildren of the Baby Boomer generation. In many cases, our teenager’s grandparents grew up in a society that was just recovering from depression, the Great War, and tremendous opportunity for growth and wealth. A very strong work ethic remained i…

So You Have A Graduate?

By Jessica Gilstrap, LMHC
As summertime approaches, it signals the close of another school year. Whether elementary school, high school, or college, many of us will be involved with the graduation of a child of our own or that of a relative or friend. Graduation is an event that recognizes accomplishment! It is a joyous time for all to offer congratulations and praise for the graduate. Graduation is also an event that recognizes change and “moving forward.” As we know, change in one’s life brings a multitude of emotions, fear, joy and sometimes anger. As we gather to recognize the accomplishments of the graduate, it is important that we acknowledge that underneath the joy of moving from one point in life to another, the emotions of fear and/or anger may be present. I recall that in high school, one of my friends was very angry because the school year was over, and she believed that all of her friends would be separating. She was right, but guess what, we all met new friends. I…

When Should Parents Begin to Let Go of Their Children?

by Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor and Life Coach
Christian parents are told to give their children "roots and wings" from the time they are born until it is time to leave the nest, some twenty years later. I believe that the first part comes easier than the second, which may not come at all. Let me explain why.

Giving a child 'roots' is about shared traditions, Christian values, personal accountability to a standard of behavior like the ten commandments or the golden rule as well as providing a safe and loving home environment. I believe that most parents do their best to care and provide for their kids and that building these core values into the heart of their child, so that it will come out through their behavior and choices later on in life. If a child knows what they believe they are stronger and more focused to go through the teen years without getting hung up on the distractions that cause so many to fall.

Frankly, I don't think that most pa…