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Escape the FOG: Fear, Obligation, & Guilt

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  Escaping Holiday FOG: Fear, Obligation & Guilt By Dwight Bain Holidays can be a time of wonderful memories or complicated with negative emotion s from toxic people trying to manipulate others. Using the smart brevity style from Axios Media you can read this 500-word post in less than four minutes to move from frustration to greater focus. If you like this short format with practical strategies let us know, and kindly pass along to others who may benefit. Grace and peace, Dwight Bain, Founder Holiday stress has a name. I call it FOG —Fear, Obligation, and Guilt. These three forces cloud joy, drain energy, and steal the season’s meaning. But you can pivot. With a deep breath, you can change your focus and move from stress to gratitude, family, and faith. 🌫️ The Three Stressors Fear Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not measuring up. Fear of missing out. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” — Isaiah 41:10 Obligation Endl...

Creating Connection NOT Conflict at Thanksgiving

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By: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, Certified Coach & Critical Incident Recovery Expert 🦃 10 Safe Conversations to Build Connection This Thanksgiving The holiday season can be a sacred time of reconnection—or a season of relational strain. When families gather around the table, the goal isn’t to win arguments. It’s to win hearts. That starts with intentional conversations that lower stress and raise empathy. As host, you set the tone. Your table becomes a sanctuary when you choose connection over conflict. This year, let’s focus on stories that heal, not headlines that divide. Because the most powerful conversations aren’t about what’s happening on Wall Street or in   Washington DC —they’re about what’s happening on your street at your house. 🛡️ Why Safe Conversations Matter They protect emotional safety and dignity for everyone at the table They create space for vulnerability, laughter, and shared wisdom They help family members feel seen, heard, a...

Having the Hard Conversations: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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by Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, & Certified Coach R ight now, you know a woman working at least two jobs, (not counting parenting children and running a household), who is married to an unmotivated man. It may be a co-worker, a sister, a neighbor or friend, but you know this woman. These women have a major problem, they believe they really love the guy on the couch who just can’t or won’t keep a job. This causes another major problem, because they don’t want their children to suffer or do without the basics, like new shoes, school supplies or playing little league. And so, they do the only thing they think they can do - they work, and work and then they work some more. Obviously not every man who is temporarily out of work is an unmotivated man who makes life miserable for his wife. In fact, a highly motivated man will always find something to do to support his family during tough times so his wife usually feels emotionally secure that he will provide for her and the kids. This article ...

Are Money Fights Ruining your Marriage?

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  7 Strategies that remove Conflict and Build Connection   In the safety of a counseling office or behind closed doors at home there is a single topic that triggers the most conflict – money. Not the lack of it—but secret spending, growing debt, and the emotional weight it carries for the ‘responsible one’ in the relationship. (This is the person who tracks their FICO score, while their partner may not know what that is). For many couples, financial conflict is the slow erosion of trust that shatters intimacy and leads to massive explosions. Financial Conflict Costs You More than Money According to Ramsey Solutions , money is the number one issue married couples fight about—and the second leading cause of divorce, right behind infidelity . And the deeper you dig, the more alarming it becomes: 86% of couples married five years or less started their marriage in debt. Of those, 41% report frequent money-related arguments . Couples with consumer deb...

Minutes Matter: A Wake-Up Call to Stop Wasting Time

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By Dwight Bain Time is the one resource we can never get back. Yet most of us treat it like it's unlimited. We scroll, we binge, we procrastinate. We say "someday" as if it's a guarantee. But the Stoics had a different view. They reminded us: Memento Mori—remember you will die. Not to depress us, but to wake us up. Seneca wrote, "It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it." Oliver Burkeman, in Four Thousand Weeks, echoes this truth. The average human lifespan is roughly 4,000 weeks. That’s it. And many of those weeks are already gone. John Maxwell adds in Today Matters, "You will never change your life until you change something you do daily." So what are you doing with your minutes? The Reality Check Let’s do the math. If you're 40 years old, you've already lived over 2,000 weeks. If you're 50, it's closer to 2,600. That’s not to scare you—it’s to clarify the stakes. Time isn’t just ...

Gap Year or Gap Fear? How to Know the Difference

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 By: Dwight Bain, NCC High school graduation is a huge milestone—but what comes next? For many students (and even more anxious parents), the big question surfaces quickly: Should we consider a “gap year”? It’s trendy. It sounds exciting. But let’s get honest: is it a launchpad for success or a dark detour filled with fear, confusion, and wasted time? Gap Year: A Strategic Pause or a Disguised Escape? There are two kinds of gap years. One leads to career clarity, work experience, and personal growth. The other leads to procrastination, passive living, and postponed adulthood. You don’t need a college degree to succeed. Look at Tom Cruise, Taylor Swift, or almost every professional athlete. Miley Cyrus didn’t go to college—but she had clarity, drive, and a plan. That’s the key: you don’t need college to win in life, but you absolutely need a commitment to grow. A gap year is only valuable if it answers one core question:  Where is this year taking you? If your son or daug...

Having the Hard Conversation: Should I Stay, or Should I Go?

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By: Dwight Bain, NCC Marriage to a loving life partner is one of life’s greatest blessings – but what happens when that marriage appears to be dying? Should you stay and try to work it out – or should you start packing to go? It’s a difficult question but it’s not an impossible one when you know what questions to ask, and how to move from angry conflict back to loving connection. Marriages can heal from an honest conversation guided by a professional on a path of healthy transformation for both partners. You can’t make somebody love you, but you can let go of trying to make them change. Disclaimer: If you, or someone you care about, is in an abusive relationship these ideas are not for them. Abuse, addiction and continual violations of trust are indicators of marital failure. Please let others know so they can help you break out of the toxic cycle because it takes two safe people working together to heal a relationship. It’s not weakness to ask for help – it’s a sign of strength. You c...