The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond LMHC After spending an afternoon conversing with her grandfather, Stephanie realized for the first time just how wise he was. His insight was amazing. He showed compassion and patience towards frustrating family members without losing himself. His perception of world market economics was eerily precise for a person who never worked in that field. And his ability to pick up on small, yet significant, nuances without overexposing a person was almost an art form. His wisdom was admirable, attractive, and enticing. For the first time in her life, Stephanie woke up to the benefits of being wise. Once obtained, she would stop wasting energy on things that don’t matter, know were and how to invest her time, stop exhausting herself emotionally, be more careful with how much she said and expressed to others, and reduce her obsessive thinking. Wisdom became something she sought after and desired. But how does a person get wisdom? Are they born with it? O...

By: Nate Webster, LMHC What exactly does sitting down and talking to someone about your problems actually do? In many ways counseling can just sound like a glorified coffee date with friends, except the cappuccino is $75.00 an hour. Here are four analogies to help uncover the mystery of counseling. These analogies give word pictures to help you understand exactly what counseling does to help you and what can be expected . So whether you’re someone who uses analogies a lot or someone who is new to using analogies, I hope these give you some clarity. Counselors are like binoculars: First and foremost, counselors often act like a pair of binoculars in your life. When you’re trying to discern what the current conditions of your life may be leading to, a counselor can be helpful as they look out at the horizon and discern what’s in the distance. What looks like some harmless twirling in the water a mile away, a counselor can identify as an eventual whirlpool that may trap...

by: Cara Griffin-Locker, IMH We all have a desire and need for a sense o f control.   Having control gives us power and helps us predict and manage events in the world around us. However, the need and desire for control can be unsatisfying and eventually lead us to conflict with others. This is especially common in the workplace. How does one get control? They take it, makes decisions and then start to give commands. This is usually when conflict arises. Conflict occurs when others also seek control and the result is often a vicious cycle of fighting for power.   Ultimately, the greater the desire to control, the greater the fear of losing it. Unless we live as a hermit we cannot do everything ourselves. So how do we manage control conflicts in the workplace? Here are some helpful tips that you can utilize when faced with obstacles that create dilemmas. 1)       Define acceptable behavior- Having a definition of what constitutes acceptable beha...

  By Chris Hammond When your child comes home with a bad grade on a test, you sit them down immediately and try to help them set new goals for improving their grade.   You explain about the importance of setting long-term goals and how their current behavior is not consistent with what they want out of life.   You never miss an opportunity to encourage and motivate your child to become what you already know they are capable of becoming.   But there is no doubt during the moments of disappointment and stress that your child’s wishes and opinions are second to yours.   After all, you are the parent and they are the child. You are a Direct Parent.   As a direct parent, your favorite questions will be centered around the word “What”.   What are you doing?   What are you trying to accomplish? What is your point?   You are goal- oriented, focused, and motivating but you can easily overpower your child to the point of bullyin...

  By Chris Hammond In your head you keep a constant ledger and running total of all the gifts, grades, thank-you notes, kind acts, punishments, harsh words, phone calls, and hugs for each child.   You carefully check the ledger daily to ensure that your kids are all getting equal time, attention, and punishment as the thought you might be unfair to one child is extremely painful.   It may sound exhausting, but the alternative of appearing to favor one child over the other is far worse than having to maintain the ledger.   You are a Bookkeeper Parent.   As a bookkeeper parent, your favorite questions will be centered around the word “How”.   How are you going to do that?   How do you feel?   How are you doing?   Bookkeeper parents are very fair, diplomatic, and loyal but can easily get their feelings hurt in the process of parenting especially when accused of being unfair, undiplomatic and disloyal.   If your child...

By: Matt W. Sandford, LMHC Conflict, arguments, tiffs, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, angry words, cold stares, sighs, rolling eyes, sarcastic rebuttals, grunts, stomping off, the silent treatment and so much more. If you’re in or have ever been in a relationship you know what I am talking about. No relationship is immune to communication challenges. My goal is not to actually remove them completely either. One, that would be unrealistic, and second, I believe that conflict can be productive. You see, conflict can be about two people working towards understanding and intimacy. However, in order for it to be productive, we need to address some of the obstacles to productive communication. I will provide some guidelines on three common stumbling blocks, however, bear in mind that there are other types of communication issues. The principles behind these guidelines are that we all long to be understood and that we all long to feel safe. Managing these two fundamental needs often l...

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH I did. Not to brag, but I can truly say that not only did I keep it but it has benefited me beyond my expectations. My last year’s resolution was daily so it involved me being active in remembering it which in turn produced daily benefits to not only my life but the lives around me. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I will be doing it again this year however with slight differences to keep it fresh and new. What was it you ask? It was to read the Bible, both the New and Old Testament, cover to cover in chronological order. This is not the first time I have had this resolution, however, it was the first time that I read the Bible in chronological order which is enormously helpful to those of us who think in terms of storylines. Many years ago, I was impressed not by a Pastor, sadly enough, but by Oprah to read the Bible cover to cover. Her valid point was that as a Christian I should know for myself what the Bible says and be able to speak with conf...

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH Rebellion in teens can be secretive or obvious depending on the personality of the teenager and the circumstances. It can show itself as rebellion against authority, against their peers, or against themselves. The article titled, “Symptoms of Teenage Rebellion” identifies some of the symptoms and breaks down each category of rebellion separating out normal behavior from abnormal behavior. Once you have come to the realization that your teen is rebelling, then it is time to take action to help them overcome the destructive behavior. Think. The first step in helping your teen is to differentiate between normal teenage behavior and abnormal teenage behavior and address only the abnormal teenage behavior. Leave the normal teenage behavior for another day. Also, if your teen is in trouble for stealing from school and sneaking out of the house, then address one of the issues because the issues are not related. If however, your teen is in trouble for ste...