The Lifeworks Group, Inc.

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC Every family has unspoken rules like: don’t wake mom when she is taking a nap, no matter what it tastes like say dad’s cooking is good, or always clean before grandma comes to the house. These guidelines are followed without question to keep the family running smoothly. However, when a narcissist is added to the mix, the rules take on more intensity. The consequences for not following the guidelines are severe such as giving a person the silent treatment for days, withholding financial resources for groceries, verbal assaults, or hour-long anger rants. No one is immune from the effects, the spouse and children are expected to adhere to the standards without question. Here are a couple of examples: Only their perspective matters. A narcissistic spouse was keeping track of his wife’s menstrual cycle, so he could manage her “crazy mood swings”. Knowing that he did this, his wife even spoke to her doctor to see if she had a menstrual disor...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC After reading several articles on narcissism, Kaitlyn realized that her husband was one. She knew that something was off for years but couldn’t put her finger on it. She fell in love immediately with him and within months, they were married. She thought she met the perfect person, he was charming, attentive, and sensitive. But shortly after the marriage, things changed. It seemed like overnight he went from charming to demanding, attentive to dismissive, and sensitive to heartless. Everything was Kaitlyn’s fault and the harder she tried, the more he expected. Exhausted and overwhelmed, Kaitlyn slipped into a depression that lasted for years. She stopped caring and gave up on her relationship and herself. During a random Google search, Kaitlyn stumbled on narcissism. The more she read, the more her eyes were opened to the reality of her life. It was as if a light began to shine in the darkness of her heart. Newly determined to make...

By: Christine Hammond, LMHC, NCC Marie’s first response to her therapist when asked about her childhood was “It was fine, my dad was perfect”. Now, this statement is gold for a therapist and begs to be mined further. After indulging Marie in the perfect father fantasy for a few minutes, the therapist took things on a different approach and asked about her mother. Marie described her as highly anxious, a bit of an alcoholic, stressed for no apparent reason, and unable to make even small decisions without consulting her father. Further probing into her mother revealed a woman that seemed traumatized all the time. With no discernible traumatic event, Marie realized that her mom was responding to demands from her father. It wasn’t too long after the initial remark of “my dad was perfect” that Marie began sharing troubling stories of her childhood. Her revised description of her father fit the profile of a narcissist. As the therapy progressed, Marie came to terms with h...