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Showing posts from February, 2019

Do You Have a Machiavellian Boss?

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By: Christine Hammond LMHC Morgan had not noticed the book, The Prince , sitting predominately on her bosses’ credenza. Perhaps she hadn’t previously been in the office long enough to look around, but now seeing the book, everything became clear. Her boss had a common saying during meetings, “The end always justifies the means,” and expected everyone to operate on that philosophy. “The end,” for her boss, was all about the bottom line and making the deal whatever the cost. While she didn’t directly encourage lying, cheating, stealing, and manipulating, it was clear from the team meetings that those who did were rewarded. It had been a while since Morgan read the book. She recalled being mortified by it but decided to give it a try again. One quote from Prince Machiavelli stood out, “ Anyone compelled to choose will find far greater security in being feared than in being loved.” This is one of the guiding principles of Machiavellians. Now Morgan could see why he

Stopping the Honeymoon Phase of Narcissistic Abuse

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By: Christine Hammond LMHC Sam saw a pattern. After her narcissistic husband would explode combining verbal assaults with mental and emotional abuse, he seemed calmer for several weeks. Then, as if there was a timer set on his frustration tolerance, one minute comment could spark the abusive rage again. The rages were awful. He would call her names, twist the truth, throw things at her, exaggerate her intentions, guilt-trip her into believing this rage was her fault, and even physically block her so she couldn’t leave the room. Unlike other non-narcissistic abusive people, her husband would not take any responsibility for his actions. He refused to apologize and instead made a game out of getting her to apologize for his poor behavior. Sam accepted the guilt just to keep the peace and it would work for about six weeks. During this time, he was charming, pleasant, and would give her material gifts almost as if this was the only way he could say sorry. But then the

What is Senior Abuse?

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Why You Shouldn’t Ask “Why”

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By: Christine Hammond LMHC Mike was confused. Even though he was successful, he struggled with personal connections. He had professional relationships but they were very surface and work only oriented. When he tried to converse outside of business matters, he sounded awkward and unintelligent. Home wasn’t any better. His relationship with his wife centered on discussing only severe matters about their teenagers. For the most part, he had no idea what his kids were doing and who they were doing it with. And even less idea what was happening in his marriage. He felt lonely and isolated both at work and home. So he decided to change by asking more questions. As a naturally analytic person, he was often baffled by why a person did what they did. It seemed logical to just ask “Why”. He thought this would open up more conversation. But instead, it had the opposite effect. Now more confused than ever, Mike sought out help to better understand what was wrong with asking “Wh