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Showing posts from June, 2012

Bible's Top Sexual No-No's

By Chris Hammond, M.S. Ever wonder what the Bible says about sex?   It is filled with plenty of practical information about our daily lives including advice on love, money, wisdom, relationships, and work but what about sex?   Surprisingly, there are many verses about the matter and even an entire book called Song of Solomon written about it.   Yet not much is discussed in Christian circles about how God views sex.   There is much discussion about how other people view sex (just look at the titles of magazines at your grocery store), but few if any discuss how God views it. So after looking over many verses, it all comes down to a couple of basic ideas and here are the top sexual no-no’s in alphabetical order. Adultery is sex with someone who is not your spouse.   This commandment was given by God through the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20:14.   Jesus expanded the definition in Matt. 5:28 to include someone who looks at another with lust in their heart

Got Jerks? Get Help.

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH Got any jerks in your life?   You know the type, the ones who think they know it all, the ones who don’t listen to a word you say, the ones who push and push until you can’t take it, or the ones who are the first to cry victim but the last to admit to a fault.   They are exhausting, relentless, aggressive, nick-picking, frustrating, and by the time you are done talking to them you want to run away screaming. Worse yet, they can turn even the best of days upside-down with just a comment, message, text or email.   You have become so programmed to their unattractive behavior that just the mention of their name stirs you inside and the sound of their voice can bring a fight-or-flight response.   As with any jerk, there are those who agree with you about the behavior and then those who adamantly disagree believing him/her to be a wonderful person.   So what can you do?   What do you do with all of that frustration especially if you are unsure of whom

Marriage is Tough When You are Trying to Make it Work Alone

By Dwight Bain We all know someone who is in the difficult situation of trying to make their marriage work, but they are alone in the process. It’s like 1 person trying to make a 2 person bicycle go fast, or make a boat designed for 2 people to row go straight… it’s almost impossible. While it can be done for a while, it leaves one person exhausted while the boat is going in circles and the bicycle rolls back down the hill. Why does this happen? Lots of reasons, often it appears that one person loves too much, and the other sometimes doesn’t seem to love enough. Whatever the reason marriages that have this imbalance create a lot of potential problems besides the obvious exhaustion. This overworking/under working cycle steals joy from the marriage; creates unrealistic comparisons with other couples; creates isolation & discouragement from one person who seems to be continually trying with no real results. So what can you do when you are trying to save you

How to Disrespect Your Husband

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH No, I am not a man-hater and this article is not meant to be taken seriously.   Rather it is written tongue-in-cheek to demonstrate the obvious and not so obvious ways a wife can show disrespect to her husband.   Sometimes the best way of understanding something is to begin with what it isn’t.   While this can be a roundabout way of addressing a subject, it can also establish some necessary boundaries from which to form a better understanding.   With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for demonstrating disrespect the next time you are alone or out with your husband.   You can do this over dinner, in front of his friends, better yet your friends, and best yet in front of family.   Make sure you temper your comments with sarcasm, mockery or cynicism to add an extra dose of disrespect. ·          His work – Try making a joke about what he does for a living, where he works, or how much he earns.   This can be even more disrespecting if you

A Different Look at the Book of James

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH Writers, who write best, write from their perspective on life.   If you have experienced something traumatic such as the death of a child, been involved in a war or survived a natural disaster and you write about it, then chances are your writing will reflect the deeper and often mixed feelings of the event.   You readers are then more drawn into your writing because you wrote from what you knew.   Equally significant is taking some time to understand the background of an author before you read their work so the intended meaning becomes clearer. One such author is the James, the writer of the Book of James in the New Testament.   So before you sit down to read this very practical and short Book on Christian living, consider the following information. 1.        James (James 1:1) identifies himself as a slave of both God and Jesus Christ acknowledging both belief and devotion to Jesus. 2.        James along with his other brothers Joseph, Jud

Preparing for Marriage – Dealing with the Ghosts of Your Sexual Past

By Chris Hammond, MS, IMH One of the most frequently asked questions by couples preparing to get married are, “How much of my sexual past do I need to reveal to my partner?”   While this can be a difficult question to answer, there are some basic guidelines to follow. 1.        Don’t lie.   Starting off your marriage with a lie is not a strong foundation and sooner or later the truth will come out in the most horrible way.   Even though it might hurt your partner’s feelings or you might potentially lose them, it is far better to be honest and suffer the immediate consequences then it is to lie and live with life-long guilt and much worse consequences.   Remember a lie is not just speaking untruthfully; it is also withholding the truth. 2.        Disclose any health hazards.   Some states require that you disclose any sexually transmitted diseases or infections before they offer a marriage license.   If you or anyone you have slept with has or has the potential for a STD