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Showing posts from November, 2008

Powerful words from leaders about developing the attitude of gratitude

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~ John Fitzgerald Kennedy Life isn't just about you. It's about family and friends and giving back. ~ Reese Witherspoon A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues. ~ Cicero Individuals and families are feeling pressures of the economy, bad news from television, and a sense of hopelessness and despair that is scary. The coming season can be one of high stress, or one of a newly defined perspective. Despite your circumstances, a shift in focus, a change in thought, and adjustment of perspective can take you and your family to a better place, a place of hope, and yes, even joy. Research validates what you and I already know, that having an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness can go a long way in helping us be healthy and balanced. ~ John Thurman, MA If the only prayer you said in your whole life was "than

Mentors Make the Difference

The benefits of having a leader come alongside to achieve greater results By Dwight Bain, NCC, Founder of the LifeWorks Group of Counselors & Coaches Last week I was honored to spend some time with Dr. Elmer Towns, co-founder of Liberty University, and a man who mentored me during graduate school. It was a great experience to catch up with an old friend, made even better because I could introduce him to Sheila and our teenage children. It was a blessing to hear this mentor to so many, sit and spend time talking to our kids about the value of having godly leaders who come alongside to invest in your life. While you may never have met Elmer Towns, so many things I do to help people today, I learned by watching him interact and mentor others back then. When I met this man over 25 years ago I had no idea how much he would impact my future. There is an old saying I heard once that said, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come.” Often you may not realize the tremendous value b

STOP! Don't Invest in the stock market Invest in yourself

Deedra Hunter, M.S., LMHC I sat in the closet clutching 3 scared small children as we listened to the winds of hurricane Andrew greedily chewing up every material possession in our soon to be completely destroyed house. I had no idea, at that moment, the most frequently asked question about that night would be “what were you thinking?” I sat by my big tree in the backyard of our Miami lake house and sobbed as I had never sobbed before in my life. I had just made the decision to get a divorce. The beautiful solid tree that my little children had swung from, that wonderful tree I thought I would grow old under, was now going to grow old without me. Everything I thought was certain was not. And again, I had no idea the most frequently asked question about that day would be” what were you thinking?” My answer was the same in both separate instances and it is the same answer I have when people ask what am I thinking about todays financial distress the co

An Undisputed Advantage

by Ron White, Coach & Best-Selling Author Sometimes success in life is a result of setting yourself apart from your competition or simply everyone else. There is one behavior that, without a doubt, will give you an advantage over those around you. I will allow Thomas Jefferson to share what that is. He once said, "Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances." Have you ever been in a stressful situation or in a storm of life in which you were not able to maintain your cool? It happens to all of us. Billy Joel puts it this way in his hit song "Pressure": But you will come to a placeWhere the only thing you feelAre loaded guns in your faceAnd you'll have to deal withPressure Jefferson and Joel are in agreement that you will have to handle pressure. Jefferson suggests that how you respond to that pressure can give you a distinct advantage over those around you. Accepting the fact that you

When should you get help for your marriage?

A LifeWorks Group Counseling Checklist These are the most common factors that can lead to marital crisis. As you read through this list, think about your relationship or the relationship of your friends and co-workers and then focus on the importance of working through issues now to find peace and connection instead of growing distance and eventual divorce. ___When children become the exclusive focus of the marriage ___When one marriage partner dominates or controls the other ___When blaming, shouting, sarcasm or threats become commonplace ___When drugs or alcohol abuse is an issue ___When physical or sexual abuse occurs ___When sexual or financial issues are ignored or are a constant battleground ___When trust is violated over money, morality or unexplained absences ___When affection and kindness to each other ceases ___When outside factors (job stress, child issues, financial crisis) increase ___When it is easier to discuss feelings with someone of the opposite sex other than your ma

What are the psychological dynamics behind women and worry?

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach Women worry about many different topics, from men to body image to relationships to their mother's approval; yet the same psychological drive is fueling this stressful emotion no matter what triggers it. I believe the real source behind the worry most women feel is control. Not control in the sense of being a manipulative monster, (like Jane Fonda's character in the film “Monster in Law), rather it's the need to know what's happening around her so she can feel empowered and in control of her emotions and environment. Think of it this way. When control goes up, worry goes down because the more a woman can understand the more she will automatically feel a sense of security and confidence inside. However, as a situation begins to feel out of control, worry dramatically increases, leading to more serious conditions like Social Phobia, Generalized Anxiety Disorders or even Panic Attacks if left untre

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,When the funds are low and the debts are high,And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,When care is pressing you down a bit,Rest if you must; but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns,As everyone of us sometimes learns,And many a failure turns aboutWhen he might have won had he stuck it out;Don't give up, though the pace seems slow;You might succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer thanIt seems to a faint and faltering man,Often the struggler has given upWhen he might have captured the victor's cup.And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out; The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;And you never can tell how close you are,It may be near when it seems afar;So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit;It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

Understanding the psychology of Post-Election Stress Syndrome

By Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor A major election leads to major change- psychologically that is. No matter who wins an election, the unexpected emotional let down or explosive reaction after the ballots are counted can be overwhelming to many, especially the aged or over-involved who can be set up for crushing amounts of what I call Post-Election Stress Syndrome . This election has likely been the most stressful of any during our lifetime because of numbing news fatigue and continual media over-exposure, yet the real problems are yet to come. Personal anxiety, professional panic and poorly thought out decisions are on the horizon regardless of your political persuasion. Why such a gloomy projection? It’s based on how this election process has been so overwhelming much of the time with months of negative news, never ending data to process and confusing choices to make on complex issues while partisan experts are shouting every half-hour on news/talk stations