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Having the Hard Conversations: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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by Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC, & Certified Coach R ight now, you know a woman working at least two jobs, (not counting parenting children and running a household), who is married to an unmotivated man. It may be a co-worker, a sister, a neighbor or friend, but you know this woman. These women have a major problem, they believe they really love the guy on the couch who just can’t or won’t keep a job. This causes another major problem, because they don’t want their children to suffer or do without the basics, like new shoes, school supplies or playing little league. And so, they do the only thing they think they can do - they work, and work and then they work some more. Obviously not every man who is temporarily out of work is an unmotivated man who makes life miserable for his wife. In fact, a highly motivated man will always find something to do to support his family during tough times so his wife usually feels emotionally secure that he will provide for her and the kids. This article ...

Are Money Fights Ruining your Marriage?

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  7 Strategies that remove Conflict and Build Connection   In the safety of a counseling office or behind closed doors at home there is a single topic that triggers the most conflict – money. Not the lack of it—but secret spending, growing debt, and the emotional weight it carries for the ‘responsible one’ in the relationship. (This is the person who tracks their FICO score, while their partner may not know what that is). For many couples, financial conflict is the slow erosion of trust that shatters intimacy and leads to massive explosions. Financial Conflict Costs You More than Money According to Ramsey Solutions , money is the number one issue married couples fight about—and the second leading cause of divorce, right behind infidelity . And the deeper you dig, the more alarming it becomes: 86% of couples married five years or less started their marriage in debt. Of those, 41% report frequent money-related arguments . Couples with consumer deb...

Minutes Matter: A Wake-Up Call to Stop Wasting Time

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By Dwight Bain Time is the one resource we can never get back. Yet most of us treat it like it's unlimited. We scroll, we binge, we procrastinate. We say "someday" as if it's a guarantee. But the Stoics had a different view. They reminded us: Memento Mori—remember you will die. Not to depress us, but to wake us up. Seneca wrote, "It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste much of it." Oliver Burkeman, in Four Thousand Weeks, echoes this truth. The average human lifespan is roughly 4,000 weeks. That’s it. And many of those weeks are already gone. John Maxwell adds in Today Matters, "You will never change your life until you change something you do daily." So what are you doing with your minutes? The Reality Check Let’s do the math. If you're 40 years old, you've already lived over 2,000 weeks. If you're 50, it's closer to 2,600. That’s not to scare you—it’s to clarify the stakes. Time isn’t just ...

Gap Year or Gap Fear? How to Know the Difference

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 By: Dwight Bain, NCC High school graduation is a huge milestone—but what comes next? For many students (and even more anxious parents), the big question surfaces quickly: Should we consider a “gap year”? It’s trendy. It sounds exciting. But let’s get honest: is it a launchpad for success or a dark detour filled with fear, confusion, and wasted time? Gap Year: A Strategic Pause or a Disguised Escape? There are two kinds of gap years. One leads to career clarity, work experience, and personal growth. The other leads to procrastination, passive living, and postponed adulthood. You don’t need a college degree to succeed. Look at Tom Cruise, Taylor Swift, or almost every professional athlete. Miley Cyrus didn’t go to college—but she had clarity, drive, and a plan. That’s the key: you don’t need college to win in life, but you absolutely need a commitment to grow. A gap year is only valuable if it answers one core question:  Where is this year taking you? If your son or daug...

Having the Hard Conversation: Should I Stay, or Should I Go?

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By: Dwight Bain, NCC Marriage to a loving life partner is one of life’s greatest blessings – but what happens when that marriage appears to be dying? Should you stay and try to work it out – or should you start packing to go? It’s a difficult question but it’s not an impossible one when you know what questions to ask, and how to move from angry conflict back to loving connection. Marriages can heal from an honest conversation guided by a professional on a path of healthy transformation for both partners. You can’t make somebody love you, but you can let go of trying to make them change. Disclaimer: If you, or someone you care about, is in an abusive relationship these ideas are not for them. Abuse, addiction and continual violations of trust are indicators of marital failure. Please let others know so they can help you break out of the toxic cycle because it takes two safe people working together to heal a relationship. It’s not weakness to ask for help – it’s a sign of strength. You c...

Having the Hard Conversations: Do I Quit or Grit?

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By: Dwight Bain, NCC It’s hard to bring up difficult topics at home, but what if the health of your marriage or family is at stake? Best-selling author Tim Ferriss describes it like this, “ A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have. ” Life is about relationships, so if you wanted a good life, you would do everything possible to make your relationships better – right? Not necessarily. Sometimes the most important parts of a marriage or family relationship cross into the uncomfortable topics no one wants to bring up. Drinking, rage, smoking, addictions like spending, or porn or gambling, or cheating? What about a tough topic millions of Americans struggle with as their parents are aging- that of impairment with driving skills, or money management or living alone. Tough conversations don’t get easier as you ignore them, they get harder. When you are trying to keep the peace, but need to speak up should you ...

Having the Hard Conversations: Talking to Aging Parents About Their Future

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By: Dwight Bain, NCC Talking to aging parents about their future is one of the hardest conversations you may ever have. These discussions bring up emotions—fear, sadness, and even resistance from both sides. You may worry about overstepping, while they may fear losing independence. It’s natural to feel unsure about where to start or how to approach these sensitive topics. But you are not alone. Many adult children face this challenge, and while it may be uncomfortable, having these conversations now can prevent stress and uncertainty later. The key is to approach these discussions with empathy, patience, and respect. It’s not about taking control, but about working together to ensure your parent’s wishes are honored and their needs are met. To help you navigate this process, here are some practical tips and conversation starters that can make these discussions easier and more productive. Approaching the Conversation Before initiating these discussions, consider the following: Choose th...