Traumatic Reactions in Children
Strategies for Parents and Teachers
in screening for STS-
Secondary Traumatic Stress after the
Las
Vegas Concert Attack
Psychological Coping Strategies from Dwight Bain, LMHC
“If you can
talk through it – you can get through it”
How to Help Children after a Mass Shooting
- Listen carefully and compassionately
- Ask questions about your child, and about their friends who were affected
- Spend time with the traumatized student, it’s always better to be together than alone after a major trauma
- Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help; consider reaching out to text or call friends you haven’t heard from since the incident
- Reassure they are safe once stability can be assured
- Help them with everyday tasks to get back to routines
- Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally; Crisis brings out the best or the worst in children, students, parents and staff
- Don’t tell people they are “lucky it wasn’t worse” – Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to understand and assist as you are able
- Connect with compassion and empathy instead of trying to ‘fix’ them
- Help peers as much as possible by sharing feelings and asking about their wellbeing
- Utilize Grief counselors, self-care groups or counseling support groups available to your community
- Encouraging all students and staff to be aware of stress overload, or STS and to keep the conversation moving forward toward resiliency and PTG
- We can get through this together, but no one gets through crisis alone so make debriefing conversations a normal part of the next few days as a family
- Remind your children that the emotions of STS are normal reactions to an abnormal situation and not a sign of weakness
- Talking through the elevated stress is essential; remember if you can talk through it, you can get through it
Signs of traumatic stress in children after a mass shooting
Sometimes
parents need help identifying stress in children or teens. Here are some
typical experiences and signs of stress in children of different ages who have
experienced major crisis.
INFANTS AND TODDLERS
- Regression of sleeping, toilet training or eating; slowing down in the mastery of new skills
- Sleep disturbances (difficulty going to sleep; frequently waking)
- Difficulty leaving parent, extreme clinginess
- General crankiness, temper tantrums, crying
3-5 YEARS
- Regression-returning to security blankets/discarded toys, lapses in toilet training, thumb sucking or other age inappropriate behavior
- Immature grasp of what has happened; bewildered; making up fantasy stories
- Blaming themselves and feeling guilty about how the crisis affected their family
- Bedtime anxiety; fitful/fretful sleep; frequent waking or chronic worrying
- Fear of being abandoned by both parents; clinginess increases as child feels unsafe
- Greater irritability, aggression, or temper tantrums, especially from previously quiet children
6-8 YEARS
- Pervasive sadness; especially when perceived feelings of being abandoned or rejected
- Crying and sobbing can be a common reaction, and sometimes a healing one
- Afraid of their worst fears coming true, this is sometimes called “catastrophizing”
- Fantasies that the stressful event didn’t happen and things will ‘just go back to normal’
- May become overactive or over-involved to avoid thinking about stressful issues
- Feel ashamed of the crisis; or feel they are different from other children because of the crisis
ADOLESCENTS:
- Fear of being isolated and lonely, separation anxiety increases in kids with other major losses.
- Fear loss of stability and security from parents leaving them or parents not available to them
- Feel hurried to achieve independence, partly to escape the crisis situation
- May tend to over-achieve academically or in sports to try and forget the crisis
- Worry about their own future; preoccupied with the survival of any stable situation
- Chronic fatigue; difficulty concentrating, physical complaints may indicate stuffed emotions
- Mourn the loss caused by the crisis or begin to understand that life can be a dangerous place
Strategies to help children after a Traumatic Event
Children look to their parents for
support and encouragement during any crisis.
The following is a guide to help
parents and teachers manage the flood of emotions that may come up because of
the community shootings that led to school lock-down.
Ages birth to 6 It is recommended that children
under the age of six not be given exposure to major traumatic events. Children
of this age draw their support from their parents, so if the parents or
guardians feel safe and secure, the children will as well. Parents should speak
calmly around children about bad things that happen in the world, and that
"we will remember the students that were hurt in our prayers." If the
parents are able to maintain a sense of calmness, children will feel safe.
Ages 6 to 12
Children this age are more aware of the world around them, yet still need moms and dads to shield them from most of the bad news in our world. Very limited exposure to the media is recommended at this stage, with more open discussions about any fears or insecurities that the child is feeling. Talking is encouraged for this age group, or write letters to emergency workers to thank them for helping the victims. Drawing pictures allows for healthy emotional expression, and something everyone needs is just being held close. A hug can help bring security to a child. Also remember to have special times of prayer. These steps help children better deal with their fears about bad things that happen in the world.
Children this age are more aware of the world around them, yet still need moms and dads to shield them from most of the bad news in our world. Very limited exposure to the media is recommended at this stage, with more open discussions about any fears or insecurities that the child is feeling. Talking is encouraged for this age group, or write letters to emergency workers to thank them for helping the victims. Drawing pictures allows for healthy emotional expression, and something everyone needs is just being held close. A hug can help bring security to a child. Also remember to have special times of prayer. These steps help children better deal with their fears about bad things that happen in the world.
Ages 12 to 18
Young students have their own impressions of traumatic events. The older they are, the more likely they will have strong opinions, and it is normal for them to process their feelings with friends. This should be balanced with family, teachers, clergy or counselors. They need time to verbally process how they feel about what happened ten years ago.
Young students have their own impressions of traumatic events. The older they are, the more likely they will have strong opinions, and it is normal for them to process their feelings with friends. This should be balanced with family, teachers, clergy or counselors. They need time to verbally process how they feel about what happened ten years ago.
Special emphasis should be placed on
helping this age group talk through the issues and how it impacted them and not
stay isolated.
Silence is a warning sign that the
crisis events of the past have been internalized. Strict limits on over
exposure of media is essential to prevent anxiety or panic levels from rising.
Dangerous Warning Signs
Stress signs of
overexposure to painful memories from the past may occur immediately after the
trauma or even a few years later. These signs are indicators that stress is
beginning to overwhelm the individual. The longer the stress symptoms occur,
the greater the severity of the traumatic event on the individual. This does
not imply craziness or weakness rather it indicates that the memories are too
powerful for the person to manage by themselves.
Students or staff who display more
than a few of the following stress symptoms may need additional help dealing
with the events of the crisis. They should seek the appropriate medical or
psychological assistance.
Physical: Chills, thirst, fatigue, nausea, fainting,
vomiting, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, headaches, elevated Blood Pressure,
rapid heart rate, muscle tremors, difficulty breathing, shock symptoms, etc.
Emotional: Fear, guilt, grief,
panic, denial, anxiety, irritability, depression, apprehension, emotional
shock, feeling overwhelmed, loss of emotional control, etc.
Cognitive: Confusion,
nightmares, uncertainty, hyper-vigilance, suspiciousness, intrusive images,
poor problem solving, poor abstract thinking, poor attention/memory and
concentration, disorientation of time, places or people, difficulty identifying
objects or students, heightened or lowered alertness, etc.
Behavioral: Withdrawal,
antisocial acts, inability to rest, intensified pacing, erratic movements,
changes in social activity, changes in speech patterns, loss of or increase of
appetite, increased alcohol consumption, etc.
When in doubt, contact a trusted
family member, a physician or certified mental health professional. It is
important to actively deal with any painful past emotions to find strength to
cope with issues in the present. Remember there are caring people who can help
you and your children. You never have to go through a crisis alone.
Family
Discussion Topics –
Think
about and discuss these issues with your children
· What are you worried about or
afraid of since the community shooting?
· How is our family affected by the
community shooting?
· Talk about what was important to
you (Core
Values)
Trauma –
Any event outside
the usual realm of human experience that is markedly distressing, (which creates horror, helplessness or
terror.) Such traumatic stressors usually involve the perceived threat to
one’s physical integrity or to the physical integrity of someone in close
proximity. This is the very intense psychological reaction to feeling highly
threatened, which is normal. Children experience Traumatic Stress differently
based on age and maturity level as this recovery guide will outline as a tool
for parents and teachers.
Secondary Traumatic Stress
Traumatic
stress overwhelms coping mechanisms leaving students feeling out of control and
helpless. Continual exposure to the trauma
create the normal reaction of being depleted, exhausted, or worse,
self-destructive
STS
Symptoms in Children after a Traumatic Incident:
·
Intrusive fearful thoughts
·
Sadness or continual waves of grief
·
Poor concentration or difficult
remembering the most basic of tasks
·
Second guessing every decision
·
Detachment or emotional numbness
·
Hyper-vigilance of danger
·
Hopelessness
·
Inability to embrace complex
concepts
·
Inability to listen
·
Anger or continual irritation
·
Sleeplessness or disturbing
dreams
·
Fear, anxiety or panic
·
Chronic exhaustion or energy
loss
·
Physical aches or muscle pain, (usually unidentified source)
·
Minimizing the severity of the
situation, especially among teenagers
Warning Signs of Dangerous Trauma in Adults or Children
Below are the
warning signs and symptoms that become noticeable in an individual who has been
negatively impacted by dangerous levels of psychological trauma.
This includes
concentrated exposure to high conflict situations like domestic violence or
repetitive and stressful situations, which could include overload from repeated
viewing of traumatic events on Social Media or the Internet.
PHYSICAL
Fatigue
|
Sweating
|
Shortness of breath
|
Loss or increase of appetite
|
Nausea or Diarrhea
|
Elevated blood pressure
|
Tight chest or chest pain
|
Muscle fatigue or weakness
|
Insomnia or Hyper-somnia
|
Increased cold or flu symptoms
|
Pacing
|
Heart Palpitations
|
Shallow breathing
|
Fainting
|
Abdominal pain
|
EMOTIONAL
Anger
|
Stress
|
Anxiety
|
Tension
|
Apathy
|
Fear
|
Panic
|
Guilt
|
Uneasiness
|
Alarm
|
Numb inside
|
Impatience
|
Depression
|
Shame
|
Nervousness
|
Grief
|
Loss
|
Irritability
|
Apprehension
|
Overwhelmed
|
BEHAVIORAL
Restlessness
|
Impulsive
|
Avoidance
|
Edgy
|
Rapid speech
|
Tense muscles/neck
|
Easily startled or jumpy
|
Hyper-vigilance
|
Withdrawal from others
|
Accident proneness
|
Anti-social acts
|
Inability to rest
|
Intensified pacing
|
Increased use of alcohol
|
Increased use of caffeine
|
COGNITIVE
Easily Distracted
|
Poor concentration
|
Forgetfulness
|
Errors in judgment
|
Mental Fog
|
Decreased decision making
|
Reduced creativity or mental focus
|
Diminished productivity
|
Loss of objectivity
|
Self-consciousness
|
Confusion
|
Fear of losing control
|
Frightening visual images
|
Fear of injury, death, pain
|
Flashbacks-nightmares
|
The more
warning indicators identified in a single category or across multiple
categories, the more that person may be over-exposed to dangerous levels of
psychological trauma.
Some of these stress-related conditions are quite common
after a traumatic incident, so when only one or two symptoms are present, it is
not usually a cause for alarm. However, when in doubt it’s best to review any
symptoms that concern you or someone you care about with an experienced
counselor or physician.
60 Positive Coping Skills
to build Resiliency and PTG-
Post-Traumatic Growth
Physical:
·
Sleep,
(7-9 hours)
·
Sleep
rituals- Same time to wake up and go to bed
·
Predictable
daily schedule
·
Healthy
Diet with Regular mealtimes
·
Hydration
throughout day
·
Nutritional
supplements
·
Low
impact exercise
·
Yoga/Pilates/Stretching
·
Deep
breathing
·
Relaxation
routines/massage or energizing naps
·
Regular
physical checkups, including blood work
·
Medication,
(as prescribed by your physician)
Emotional:
·
Esteem
building exercises, especially with photos or images
·
Laughter/Fun/Playtime
·
Face
anger, anxiety and apathy directly
·
Journal
out negative emotions
·
Let
go of painful past memories
·
Say
“NO” to bad habits
·
Talk
through issues to get through issues
·
Identify
and process hurtful emotions
·
Write
letters to vent out disappointment, (then
tear them up)
Relational:
·
Face
relationship issues
·
Voice
your needs to others
·
Confront
conflict directly
·
Connect
with friends/family
·
Share
your burdens with others
·
Join
a support group
·
Utilize
counseling supports
·
Join
a hobby group which involves others
·
Say
“NO” to manipulative behavior
·
Hugs/affection,
(from pets or people)
·
Learn
the love language of those close to you and let them know your needs as well
Behavioral:
·
Daily
planning time
·
Utilize
organizational planners
·
Short
term goals
·
Daily
hobbies for enjoyment
·
Creative
activities for relaxation
·
Develop
victory list of accomplishments
·
Create
a bucket list of lifetime goals
·
Reading
for personal development
·
“Pay it forward” to do good for others
·
Learn
something new everyday
·
Take
on new challenges
·
Leave
work stress at work
·
Take
a training course to gain new knowledge and skills
Spiritual:
·
Reading
for inspiration
·
Meditation
·
Listen
to inspirational music
·
Volunteer
to help others
·
Forgive
those who have wronged you and forgive yourself
·
Attend
spiritual development classes to deepen your soul
·
Attend
inspirational services
·
Make
prayer a regular part of your day
·
Memorize
scriptures to inspire and develop your mind
·
Remember,
“Things come to pass – not stay”
·
Re-create
spiritual peace in quiet places
·
Build
spiritual strength through meaningful experiences
·
Attend
prayer vigils to experience greater community connection
·
Observe
a day of rest
·
Get
in touch with nature
·
Visit
a bike trail, park, lake, beach or hike a mountain trail
Dwight
Bain a leading critical incident trauma therapist who leads people through
crisis. He is a certified Critical Incident Stress Instructor with the
International Critical Incident Stress Foundation in Baltimore working from his
office in Orlando, FL.
Follow his blog at www.DwightBain.com or follow online for daily updates to manage stress
in daily life. You can find him across all social media @DwightBain