Hurricane Irma Recovery Guide:

Psychological Strategies to rebuild your Life, Home & Business

By: Dwight Bain, Nationally Certified Counselor and Critical Incident Recovery Expert


Andrew, Katrina, Harvey and now Irma - These storms change people forever. Most people know to prepare physically ahead of time by keeping a watchful eye on tracking the storm and stocking up on the resources needed, like flashlight batteries, bottled water, canned goods, prescription medication, first aid kits and other essential survival supplies.

What we usually don’t know is how to deal with the devastating psychological reactions that come after a terrible storm hits. Emotions like stress, anger, worry, depression, trauma, rage, confusion, anxiety and panic are common and can build up to dangerous levels after a major critical incident which can lead to disastrous and self-destructive behavior.
Natural disasters can destroy entire communities in moments, while the recovery process to rebuild from a major critical incident may take weeks or months to sort through. The more you know about how to survive after the storm, the faster you can take positive action to get your personal and professional life back on track.
Since natural disasters like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires and floods are among the biggest and most destructive forces that impact people living in the United States; what can you do right now to cope with the psychological impact of a major storm before or after it makes landfall?

The most important thing to focus on in a crisis situation is:

Keep this single thought in mind as you begin to sort through the process of stabilizing yourself and those you care about who have been impacted by the storm. During the storm the goal is to stay safe while surviving whatever nature throws your way; blistering heat, the ground quaking under your feet or your house being torn apart from gale force winds and rain. After the disaster is over and the storm passes, the goal is to quickly rebuild the normal life routines that you had in your personal and professional life before the storm hit. If you get focused on rebuilding, you will be able to spend your energy in positive ways instead of being in a mental fog of confusion, mingled with panic or regret.

Dealing directly with your emotions will reduce the tension and stress on you, which allows you to have more energy to deal with a difficult situation. However, if you stuff your fears and frustrations in a major disaster, your emotions can quickly blow up without warning. Exploding in rage on your children, your marriage partner or a volunteer at a water station will only make a difficult situation worse. It’s not their fault, and it’s not yours.
Natural disasters can be a terrible time full of loss and difficulty for everyone. By taking action now you can move beyond feeling overwhelmed by intense stress, anger or confusion. As you follow the insight from this recovery guide, you will be taking positive steps to rebuild with the focused energy of an even stronger life for you and your family after the storm.
To best survive after a killer storm, you need a combination of 3 key elements

1. Healthy coping skills
2.  Healthy supports and a
3.  Healthy perspective
While things may never be exactly the same as they were before the storm; the following guidelines will give you the key elements needed to get past the overwhelming stress to find even greater strength on the other side.

What are the dangerous warning signs of “Storm Stress Syndrome”?  
Stress from the storm affects everyone however; it becomes dangerous to our health if it goes on for an extended period of time. Storm Stress Syndrome can affect adults, children, the elderly and even pets, so it is important to be alert to watch for the danger signs of the psychological conditions called, ‘Secondary Traumatic Stress’, (STS), and ‘Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder’, (commonly referred to as PTSD), in yourself, your family members and coworkers.
In natural disasters like hurricanes or tornadoes, I refer to the rapid build-up of these psychological symptoms as “Storm Stress Syndrome”. These symptoms include any dramatic change in emotions, behavior, thought patterns or physical symptoms over the next few days, weeks or perhaps even months, based on the level of traumatic exposure. Natural disasters are a terribly stressful time for everyone, both during and after the storm, and there are a number of factors to be aware of to keep yourself and those who you care about safe.

 Storm Stress Syndrome Warning Signs-
These signs are indicators that the intense stress from the critical incident is beginning to overwhelm the individual. The longer the stress symptoms occur-the greater the severity of the traumatic event on the individual. This does not imply craziness or personal weakness; rather, it simply indicates that the stress levels from the storm were too powerful for the person to manage and their body is reacting to the abnormal situation of having survived a major trauma.
It’s normal to feel completely overwhelmed by a natural disaster like a hurricane or tornado; however there are danger signs to watch for in yourself or others that may indicate psychological trauma.
Adults or children who display any of the following stress symptoms may need additional emotional support dealing with the events of the crisis. It is strongly recommended you seek the appropriate medical or psychological assistance if you see many of the physical, emotional, cognitive or behavioral symptoms listed below in yourself, your coworkers, or someone in your family or home, especially if these symptoms were not present before the storm.
Physical Symptoms:
Chills, thirst, fatigue, nausea, fainting, vomiting, dizziness, weakness, chest pain, headaches, sleep loss, elevated blood pressure, rapid heart rate, and muscle tremors, difficulty breathing, major changes to appetite or shock symptoms

Emotional Symptoms:
Fear, guilt, grief, panic, denial, anxiety, rage, irritability, depression, apprehension, emotional shock, feeling overwhelmed, or a loss of emotional control

Cognitive Symptoms:
Confusion, nightmares, uncertainty, hyper-vigilance, suspiciousness, intrusive images, poor problem solving, poor abstract thinking, poor attention/memory and concentration, disorientation of time, places or people, difficulty identifying objects or people along with heightened or lowered alertness

Behavioral Symptoms:
Withdrawal, antisocial acts, inability to rest, intensified pacing, erratic movements, changes in social activity, changes in speech patterns, increased caffeine or sugar intake, increased appetite or increased alcohol consumption

If you are in doubt about these symptoms in your life, or someone you care about, it is wise to seek the care of a physician or certified mental health professional. Better to actively deal with the stressful emotions directly to help yourself and your loved ones to immediately cope with this crisis because these emotions tend to worsen and get more intense if left untreated.
Remember there are many experienced professionals who can help you recover during a time of crisis. You do not have to go through crisis recovery alone.
Take action now to prevent stress after the storm from continuing to overwhelm you or the people you care about. Call a trusted friend to talk through it, reach out to your family doctor, the clergy or a counselor. If you don't know someone to call about these emotional issues, you can reach out for assistance by calling telephone hotlines which are offered at no cost to you.
These numbers are often posted by local media, hospitals, the American Red Cross, the Salvation Army or FEMA. If you, or someone you care about are feeling overwhelmed by stress, anxiety, guilt or grief it's important to make the call for assistance now to learn how to get past the pressure to begin to feel ‘normal’ again.

How can I help my family get back to “normal” after a major disaster?
Hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, floods and earthquakes are often the most destructive events a person will experience in a lifetime. These types of storms are also among the most expensive disasters to recover from financially because of being out of work or not having enough insurance coverage to replace what the storm destroyed.
It may take months to perhaps even a year for everyone to feel that things are back to “normal.”  (Which many experts refer to as the “New Normal”)  
The actual psychological impact of the storm will vary widely between people based on factors like- age, their previous experiences with storm recovery and most significantly how much stress they already had in their life before the storm.
The more stress someone had in their life prior to the storm, the longer it takes to recover, and with the additional stress of daily life coupled with the rise in prices that often come after a natural disaster, stress levels can quickly increase.
Here are some immediate ways to restore order back into your life after the chaos and confusion that can follow a natural disaster like a hurricane or tornado.

1)   Reconnect in relationships –
You can't get through a crisis alone. Since everyone is impacted differently, it is vitally important to talk about the stress and pressures you experienced with the people closest to you. Reach out to friends and family as soon as possible, and call people you haven't heard from in a while. Checking in to ask if they are okay will take a few minutes, but it will empower and help both of you. Talk about what each of you experienced through the disaster and how you got through the storm. Tremendous connection can occur when you go through a crisis with someone, so this is an especially good time to reach out to friends or family who may have drifted away from your closest circle of relationships. Take action to reach out to people with words of encouragement and support, but don't wait for someone else to text, call or email you- because their phone may not work! Seek them out if you don’t hear back then reconnect the relationship while encouraging each other during the rebuilding process.

2)   Rebuild your routines-
This is one of the most important factors to rapidly get life back on track because we draw strength and security from a structured daily routine. Bed time, dinner time, getting up to go to school, or work, or your house of faith or the gym. To regain strength quickly, identify what normal routines you had before the storm- then get back to them as soon as possible. Even if you are staying in a hotel, shelter or with family members, stick with the rituals you typically followed before the storm that made up your daily lifestyle. This way you can feel the predictability of previous patterns and routines regardless of the stress of the changes happening around you.

    3)   Reach out for faith-
In times of major crisis many people turn to the spiritual power of prayer. Spiritual resilience is built during the toughest of times because there is tremendous strength in knowing what you believe and living in harmony with those beliefs. Plugging into a faith system after the storm will allow you to release anxiety over the things you feel like you can’t control. Dedicate a few minutes each day to quiet mediation and reflection on what matters most. This is especially important when you or your children may feel lost, alone or afraid. Plus, many houses of faith have disaster and recovery teams, support services and even financial assistance available to help people cope with crisis. People of many faith systems believe in helping their neighbors, so avoid the tendency of being “too proud” to ask for assistance. Having a committed personal faith combined with the connection of a local house of worship can give you a tremendous sense of community to get through this storm as well as the ones to come.

4)   Retell your story-
Young and old alike will benefit from hearing about how other people survived what may be the worst natural disaster they will ever experience. There is tremendous power in telling your story; healing power for you and helpful power for others who will gain insight and strength by hearing how creative people can become through the crisis. As you speak up about what happened, it will make it easier for other family members or coworkers to talk about their feelings of loss as well. Things will never be the same as before, but life will go on and we can rebuild and get through it better together. Telling your story now will give you additional strength as well as connect you to the neighbors and friends as they share their story with you.

Remember –
“If you talk through it, you can get through it.” 

How does a critical incident like this affect kids? 

It depends on the age of the child. The younger the child, the more they look to their parents for emotional security and strength. If a Mom or Dad are “shell-shocked" or “numb” and not able to manage their own emotions or responsibilities; the child will feel extra pressure and become very confused and further stressed. Remember, it's normal to be overwhelmed by a major disaster and the loss to your home, or community. That is why it's so important to take care of yourself in order to take care of your children and others under your care through the sometimes lengthy period of recovery and rebuilding after the storm.
Think about the advice given on commercial airliners to parents traveling with small children. “Should there be an unexpected cabin de-pressurization; oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling. Place the mask over your nose and mouth like this and then place the mask over the mouth and nose of those around you needing assistance.”
Take care of your own emotional needs first, and then you will be in a stronger position to help those around you. If you feel overwhelmed in giving your children or others who may depend on you for support, please ask for help.

It's okay to be tired, worn out and overly stressed. That's normal after a natural disaster. However, it's not okay to ignore caring for the needs of those counting on you like children, the elderly or pets.
Sometimes a parent may need to make adjustments at work or change their own schedules for a while by delegating some tasks in order to have time and energy to help their children avoid feeling more pressure from the difficult experience that surviving a major disaster brings. If you feel that your ‘caregiver tank’ is empty, let someone else help you for a while until you get your strength back. That's best for you and for those that you care about.
Dedicate attention to understanding the needs of young children, notice what they are saying, drawing or doing to determine if they are still feeling overly stressed from the storm.
School age kids need to talk, draw pictures or take positive action, (like creating crafts to raise money for kids just like them who are now storm victims because their homes were destroyed), so if you give them something to do to help, they can take positive action and sort through their emotions immediately.

High school age kids
may try to act "cool or tough" about everything, but often are more scared about the changes, losses and confusion than any other group. If they are willing to talk to their siblings, other family members, clergy or counselors it often doesn’t take very long before they can grow strong enough to deal with their emotions and get back to feeling like themselves again.

The greatest danger sign to be alert and aware of is by
noticing any dramatic changes in behavior. If a child was always happy-go-lucky before the storm and now sits all day to watch video footage of the world’s disasters on the news or weather channels- then you may want to figure out why they made such a dramatic shift in personality. Watch for other major changes in sleep patterns, school patterns, school performance, peer relations and so on. If you see major changes that concern you, it's time to seek professional attention for the child with their pediatrician or with a child behavioral specialist

What are some ways to help our kids talk about storm stress?
You can reach out to children in many ways to help them deal with this stressful time of rebuilding after the storm. Talking, writing, drawing, even making up a song about your families experience with the disaster will make the time pass more quickly, and may even lighten someone else's load of emotional pain and difficulty while helping you back through the process. Some families describe playing board games like the "worst case scenario," (which is based on actual survival information from a book by the same name). Many of the issues discussed in the game aren't likely to happen to the majority of people on the planet, (such as how to survive a shark attack), however, talking about any crisis event in life can help kids learn the basics of moving from the panic of basic survival to building strengths through problem solving.

Are there any “hidden dangers” in media that parents should be concerned about that might make the storm stress worse?
Too much media exposure is dangerous for kids. It is better to get a media "news update" once or perhaps at the most, twice a day to avoid the danger of media over-exposure. Leaving the news on all the time might depress the mood of the person who hears it; since deep down inside trauma victims learn to go  "numb"  to the normal emotions of the stressful event. This is a common trauma reaction to reserve psychological energy after a disaster. If your child didn't watch the morning news programs before the hurricane or tornadoes hit, be cautious about allowing them to watch TV news alone or having long blocks of unaccounted time with too much isolation.
Best is to sort through media outlets-like television, Internet, radio or newspapers, which may contain content could be overly stressful or just too depressing for a child to manage. Then set boundaries to protect them from additional stress in media stories, since it is important to protect their home environment and mental state by managing the media exposure around them.
It's wise to move from negatives to positives in highly charged and difficult situations like natural disaster recovery. You may have seen enough negative images to last a lifetime yet some media outlets play scenes from a disaster over again and again. Better is to focus on rebuilding and recovery images.
Also, parents and kids can sit down and discuss how much negative media they need in their homes. After previous disasters some families found not having Internet, cable television or loud music while being without electricity after the storm allowed them to reconnect as a family with much greater communication.
By sitting down and discussing these issues your home can be a more positive place, by creating more positive energy to manage the stress of recovering after this crisis

Since watching crisis events in other parts of the country might cause more stress in an already stressful situation it's better to focus on your responsibilities today, right in your own community. When things in your life are strong again, you and your family won't be as affected by the images of crisis from other places. But that's another day, so for now as you recover, it’s better to focus on getting you and your kids though the day that you have been handed without making it harder because of the hidden stress of media overexposure from other national or global disasters.
Also, the same principles apply for the aged as for anyone else. Seniors often can spend a tremendous amount of time absorbing negative media images which can be harmful to their wellbeing. Better to get involved in helping others, volunteering or praying for those affected or perhaps donating to help; than to become overwhelmed with the stressors of others by becoming desensitized from dangerous negative media over-exposure.

What can people expect in the weeks ahead? 
“Hurry up and wait," will be the motto some people will think about in the days ahead. This is because the daily life activities like filling up a gas tank, taking a warm shower, or driving through a busy intersection with working traffic lights, could have been dramatically disrupted. Life is usually out of balance for weeks sometimes even months after a major disaster, and while no one likes it, we all have to get through it.
There may be long lines for many of the basic products or services necessary to survive or care for our loved ones; so prepare now for the fact that may be difficult at times. Major storms can kill hundreds of people, shatter billboards, rip traffic lights from their poles, splinter trees, shred awnings or screen rooms, rip apart electric-cable-phone-Internet transmission lines, snap off traffic signs, seriously damage thousands of homes and cause billions of dollars in damage where they hit, (like Hurricane Katrina did to the Gulf coast affecting hundreds of thousands of people).
The more damage in a community, the longer it takes for some things to even be evaluated for repair and significantly longer than that for them to be replaced. It is wise to mentally prepare for the fact that the damage from a major storm could take weeks to clean up and months to perhaps even up to a year to rebuild.
Know this will be hard on everyone involved but people get through it with a lot less stress when they work together. Here's a formula to help victims recover from this type of crisis event faster. It spells out the word "P.A.T." which stands for

Things are going to take a lot longer than normal. Focus on the reality of why things are disorganized or confusing after the storm, instead of getting angry at everything that doesn't go your way. The more you let your anger build, the more likely you will dump it on the people you are closest to at home. That is irresponsible and hurtful, so don't do it! Deal directly with the pressure of this recovery time by building a deeper understanding of the situation and what you can actually do about it, instead of feeling angry and helpless about what you can't do anything about during this time of disaster recovery. Being moody and continually irritated will not make things better for anyone, but it can make a bad situation worse for everyone involved. Why add more stress to an already over-stressed situation?

In a crisis situation you can't afford to waste even a drop of valuable resources like water or gasoline-and you should be equally cautious about wasting emotional energy by worrying about things you can't change. It's time to go with the flow of difficult situations, instead of trying to fight against it. You can't control the fact that this difficult situation has happened, and if you try it hyper-control something as big as a natural disaster it will only lead to greater levels of anxiety and stress for you. Better to keep focused on positive things like counting your blessings instead of counting your problems. Anxiety, stress, worry and chronic sleep loss can take a bad situation like this one and turn it into an abusive, or out of control one in a matter of days. Protect your attitude and you will significantly protect your ability to deal with the challenges that lie ahead.

This can be hard because people tend to feel angry and resentful in the days or weeks after a critical incident. However, it is essential to know the utility, construction and recovery crews responsible to take action to repair the daily life activities we tend to take for granted, (like electricity, water, sewage, gas, phone, Internet and cable services), are already working 24/7 shifts to accomplish that important goal of rebuilding basic services disrupted by the disaster.
This includes staff from the power company, phone company, tree services, cell phone providers, cable television workers, Internet providers, insurance adjusters, FEMA workers, the department of transportation workers replacing signs and traffic lights, fire fighters, police officers, doctors, nurses, school board officials, grocery store workers, gas station attendants, yard debris collectors and on and on.
Trust everyone is doing the best that they can to get things back on track. Emergency repair crews often work double time to get our homes, schools and businesses back on track. Even better, stop and thank them with your kids if you have a chance. A kind word of “thanks” goes a long way to reduce the stress and frustration these professionals feel in rebuilding and maintaining essential services in our community.
Is it wise to involve kids in the cleanup and recovery process?
Yes, if it is physically safe, **

(**IMPORTANT NOTICE! **Think about the term, “childproofed home” as you determine what environment would be safe for your youngest children or grandchildren to be walking through or around. If they normally aren't around power tools or gas powered construction equipment like generators or chain-saws, this is not the time to introduce them to it. Be safe and don't make a stressful situation worse by risking physical injury to yourself, your children or those you care about.)
So, if it is physically safe, the entire family might visit their damaged home together. It is okay to do clean up and recovery work together as well, since this storm is bigger than any one person could clean up. Stressful events like this often make a marriage or family stronger, because instead of just one person dealing with the loss, the entire family joins in to deal with it together. It's very unhealthy to play the “hero” and try to do everything by yourself as a parent or legal guardian because it models being a lone ranger during a crisis.
The lone ranger’ mentality eventually leads to someone becoming the ‘lonely ranger’ because you can't get through a crisis alone, nor should you try. We need each other more than ever to successfully manage crisis events like natural disasters. Another reason this is so important is that viewing the destruction firsthand, (obviously in age appropriate ways), can be one of the most effective ways to allow children to see how dangerous storms can be. And the most important reason to model this behavior to our younger kids is because they learn from earliest childhood that families who stick together through the entire recovery process can get through it better and faster than those who go it alone.
On another note, keep your repair work in perspective with your life priorities. Remember it is impossible to fix everything destroyed in a single day, so to risk emotional injury to your children or spouse by yelling, screaming or shouting during the cleanup process simply isn’t worth it. By pacing yourself and working at the rebuilding process together as a family, you can grow closer on the other side of the storm.

Blow up with rage at the people you are closest to and you risk damaging a relationship far more valuable than your roof

Is it okay to talk about what happened to our family with others?  
Silence is not golden in a critical incident, rather, it's dangerous. One of the best things you can do to help yourself and help others is to tell your story. Talk about where you were when the storm came through. Talk about how you and your loved ones made it through the crisis to the other side. Keep talking and make it a point to listen carefully as you hear the stories of others who survived the disaster. This is important for everyone involved, kids, grandparents, moms, dads, employees, employers, firefighters, police officers, nurses, teachers, students and on and on.
Everyone has a story about how they got through the disaster and telling it helps them heal and may give you a new chance to connect with your family, neighbors and coworkers in a powerful way. Also, don't miss asking your personal priest, rabbi, cleric, pastor or spiritual caregiver to share their story; since many times these professionals are so busy listening to the needs of others, they neglect to take time to reduce the stress that they feel.

Why do some people seem to become bitter after a crisis instead of just being grateful to be alive?
A major disaster “dumps out” whatever is inside a person, so you will see the best and the worst of behavior happening in the days ahead. A critical incident or natural disaster which overwhelms an entire community creates an equal sized emotional reaction in people, so be prepared for some unusual reactions in yourself and the people around you.

Sometimes people who were the most hurting before the storm will act wonderful and kind on the other side of recovering from this type of traumatic event. It's like they find a hidden strength in a crisis and reach out to others in a new way. Others just go numb and will seem to act like robots for a while. Some people will get loud - others will become unusually quiet.

There are many reasons for the wide range of emotional response; with a common factor being how many difficult and traumatic experiences they may have already witnessed in their lives.
Hopefully, some people may have already sorted through these deep hurts and strong emotions before a killer storm hits. If so, they may have a deeper understanding of the need for compassion to others in a crisis. They understand about the storms in life and react with kindness, sometimes it may even seem to come automatically for them to reach out with positive emotions instead of being critical.
Other people might become completely hateful and mean in everything that they say and do, even if they didn’t act that way before the storm. They may even try to chase you off with a broom if you are trying to help them clean up broken limbs in their yard! Don't panic, they probably aren't having a breakdown, rather it's likely a behavior some people call being ‘hardhearted.’ This often comes from years’ worth of unresolved past hurts being piled up and never addressed or resolved. Try not to take it personally if the criticism comes your way.
Remember the rule that "hurt people- hurt people" and take their negative comments with a ‘grain of salt’ while still attempting to maintain integrity in caring for others who may be able to receive the offer of a helping hand to get through this difficult time.

What is survivor guilt and how does it negatively impact people?
Thousands of people who didn't lose power, have their homes damaged or lose basic services often feel uncomfortable because they didn’t experience much difficulty or hardship during the storm. Sometimes it is because others experienced it much worse so they abandon the issues at their home to rush and help others. Remember to manage your affairs at home and work in a responsible way, and to pace yourself through the process.
Doing too much/too soon for others can exhaust you and limit your ability to live out your priorities with your immediate family. Helping others at the expense of protecting and helping your own family may feel appropriate after a disaster, but it misplaces the important priority of caring for those closest to you first, (there are emergency exceptions to this principle at times). Best is to pace yourself in the process of recovering and rebuilding. Hurricane or floods come to an end, but if you over do-things you may end up hurting yourself and make your own future worse. If your home is stable and you can get to work, be grateful, and don't allow the inconveniences of daily life, like having to do without hot water, wi/fi, air conditioning or cable for a while, get you down and remember, if you can talk through it, you really can get through it. 

So many people are worse off than me- how can I decide who to help?
Help others when you can, but not at the expense of making your situation worse. A simple way to decide who to help and when it might be wrong to offer assistance is to consider these three key elements.

·        Evaluate Relationship-
First determine your level of relationship to the people in need. Begin with ‘self-care’ and practice the steps to keep yourself safe in the recovery and rebuilding process. If you get seriously hurt trying to help someone else, you haven’t really helped anyone and in fact may make a bad situation much worse for everyone. Once you know you are safe and stable, then reach out to offer help your closest relationships, which are usually the people you live with or around. This includes your family, children, partner, elder adults who may live with or near you and your friends. Not everyone outside of your closest ‘circle’ may need your help or assistance, but it’s wise to ask them just in case.
Once you get past those closest to you, then you can reach out to offer assistance to those in need you may know of in your neighborhood, community or workplace. After you are able to help the people at that level of relationship, then you can reach out to those you may be less connected to in your community, state or region of the country. Everyone has needs, and it is for certain everyone affected by the disaster will need some level of help to get through this storm recovery process. ‘Lone rangers’ wear out fast and eventually can’t help anyone, so help others when you can and allow them to help you as the level of relationship might offer. Allowing them to help you creates a greater sense of relationship and connection which makes you both stronger now and in the years to come.

·        Measure Resources-
If you are attempting to reach out to help others, you need to first evaluate what resources you have to work with. These are the very limited supplies of time, energy people and money. Most people need to maintain responsibility to the important elements of their jobs no matter what the storm damage may have done to their place of business. If you are in a situation that requires a 40 hour week commitment during the storm rebuilding process, you will may very limited supplies of time and energy at the end of the day to help others in need. Wise financial planning may have given you a financial nest egg, but no one has enough money to solve all the crisis events in our world. If you don’t have the resources of time, energy, people and money to responsibly care for you and those who depend on you, it is not wise to spend those limited resources on strangers. Don’t let the crisis events of others in desperate situations you may see in a television commercial get in the way of caring for those closest to you. As you wisely manage your home resources in connection to your circle of closest friends and family members – everyone can grow stronger after the storm.

·        Do the Right Thing-
After you have determined the level of relationship and then measured the resources available to help, you are ready to apply these three questions to wisely help others impacted by the storm.  

1)   Is there a Rule?
Consider if this situation falls under the guidelines of an accepted standard in our society, such as a law, statue, spiritual principle or guideline.
For instance, if I’m in a hurry and racing to get to a store to buy storm supplies and cause an automobile accident it’s clearly my fault and I have to pay for the damages. However, many issues that arise out of a disaster aren’t very easy to understand and don’t fit into commonly known laws, statutes or principles. When that happens, ask yourself the next question.

2)   Is it Responsible?
Does the situation you are considering getting involved with make common sense or seem to be a wise use of time, energy or money as discussed earlier?
If it seems impulsive or poorly thought out, wisdom would suggest that waiting until a better plan could be developed would bring better and longer lasting results. This approach also helps prevent accidents after a disaster because considering the responsible path may prevent bad decisions that could have been well meaning, but brought more problems than solutions. Like when a well-meaning person buys a chainsaw to cut a tree off of a neighbor’s house and hasn’t stopped to realize they have never used a chain saw! There are often more accidents or deaths in the days after a major disaster because of irresponsible or impulsive decisions. Prevent that by taking time to seriously think through what your involvement will actually accomplish. As a wise carpenter once said, “measure twice-cut once.”

3)   Is it Reasonable?
Consider the real reasons that led you to believe you are the best person to jump in to help others in this situation. Do you have the skill set, the experience or training to perform certain tasks that you are considering?
An example of this would be well meaning people who show up to help after an accident, but don’t have the medical training to even know what to do, or people who really want to help with patching holes in roofs or removing tree limbs tangled up in power lines.
It is unreasonable and irresponsible to place yourself into a dangerous situation you aren’t prepared to deal with. A better approach is to assess what you reasonably can do right now and then do it. (Some examples would be calling 911 to get medical help, or waiting in line for ice and bottled water for a neighbor, or doing five loads of laundry for someone who doesn’t have electricity, or letting someone use your cell phone to call their family members and let them know they are safe after the storm, or offering to buy lunch at a fast-food restaurant for a tired mother with small children who just need to get out of a hot house for a few hours to take a break until the air conditioning is repaired). There are countless things you can do to add value in a crisis situation without being in the wrong place at the wrong time; which creates problems for others. Taking reasonable action brings positive results.
Following these steps will allow you to grow stronger through the storm, while helping others to grow along with you on the journey of rebuilding a community after the storm.

What should people consider when first returning to their homes after being evacuated?
You need to mentally prepare for the loss by remembering that things in this life can be damaged by wind, water, fire and falling trees. Our lives and the lives of those we love are much more valuable than anything in our homes. Whatever the destruction looks like now, remember that it can and eventually will be repaired in time.
Keep repeating to yourself phrases like, "It's just stuff," or "our family is safe-and that's all that matters since the rest is just a house that can be replaced."
Changing your mind about things will allow you to control your most powerful asset, your own mental drives, personal beliefs and choices, which is the emotional "grid": all other emotions go through. Change that, and you will be able to make even more positive changes in your daily life.

What other strategies can encourage people through the recovery?
Stress can lead you to a greater level of strength; which is the primary focus to grow through a difficult situation. You can make it through the crisis and survive when you take action to connect to your supports, use positive coping skills and develop the mindset of looking for strength beyond the storm.
The biggest part of this process is to reach out and link arms with others who were impacted by this dangerous storm. Supporting others gives you a significantly greater level of strength than if you ever tried to stand alone through the crisis. Finding strength in storms by linking arms with others is what the massive Redwood trees in California do to withstand incredible pressure.
Redwoods are massive trees many are over 300 feet high, and yet only have root systems that go 4-5 feet deep. Why don't they fall over in a gentle breeze? Simple - Redwoods never grow alone. They link their roots together and withstand ten times the stress and pressure because they are not alone when facing major storms.
Redwoods need each other to stand strong and so do we. A major crisis gives us a chance to stand strong together, just like the giant Redwoods do. Communities are made stronger after disasters so this is time to get focused, build healthy coping skills into daily life and be surrounded by people who have the heart and resources to stand firm by living out what they believe. Natural disasters create an opportunity to stand alongside your neighbors as we all come together to rebuild a community damaged or destroyed by the storm.
No matter the size of crisis event, you can find strength after the storm. Following the practical applications in this disaster recovery guide will allow you to begin building strength back into your personal and professional life. As you grow stronger you can tell others, which will encourage them to press on as they rebuild their lives right next to yours. Stronger people create stronger communities which is the journey you have already begun. I encourage you to stay with it as you build an even stronger life, family and community after the storm.

NOTE: You can freely redistribute this crisis management resource, digitally, electronically or in print to help in the psychological recovery efforts provided you leave the authors information intact below.

About the Author:  Dwight Bain helps people rewrite their story, especially during times of major crisis or change. He is a Nationally Certified Counselor and Nationally Certified Trauma and Crisis Management Instructor in practice since 1984. Dwight has spoken to over 3,000 groups and partners with media, major corporations and non-profit organizations to make a positive difference. Access more counseling and life coaching resources designed to save you time by solving stressful situations by visiting his counseling blog with over 800 complimentary articles and special reports at or follow his research on creating positive growth and change across all social media platforms @DwightBain

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