How OCPDs Escape Responsibility
By: Christine Hammond LMHC
People
with Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can seem to be overly
responsible at first. But given time, their ability to escape responsibility
becomes clear. After all, everyone has the same amount of time in a given day
and while OCPDs seem to be more productive when compared to others, in reality
they are less.
This is
primarily because their obsessive traits, thoughts, and behaviors consume large
amounts of time and energy. Their never ending desire to be right in every
instance and all circumstance is exhausting and draining. This perfectionistic
trait frequently alienates them from loved ones who can’t live up to the
demands of their fastidiousness.
So to
minimize the damage, they become escape artists. People with OCPD will gladly
be responsible for the things they can be viewed as an expert. However, when
others place responsibility on them, they view this as controlling. This
violates one of their personal mantras: no one will have power over them. So
they escape. How?
annoying the
person endeavoring to hold them accountable. This puts the other person off
balance and on the defensive. Once a subordinate position has been established,
the OCPD person blames the other person for the situation they are in
claiming
it is the other person’s fault.
2. Prosecute/Project. To circumvent any accountability, the OCPD
person preempts attacks by prosecuting the other person with detailed lists of
their previous failures. Their accounts are usually accurate but lack any
admittance of their own personal failure. In a final blow, the OCPD person projects
things they are answerable for onto the other person.
3. Argue/Exhaust. This is the simplest tactic with great
immediate results. When confronted, the OCPD person picks one small detail and
argues it to the umpteenth degree. If the other person argues back, they pick
another tiny point and persistently wear down their opponent. Exhausted,
frustrated, and annoyed, the other person gives up holding them liable.
4. Refuse/Rewrite. One way of avoiding responsibility is to refuse
to accept an assignment, even if it is a task only they can complete such as
driver’s license renewal. Then the argument becomes, “I couldn’t do it because
you refused to help me.” This self-victimization is designed to rewrite history
by making the other person accountable for their task. This tactic often leaves
the other person questioning themselves and their memory.
5. Divert/Attack. This method begins with an outburst over
something very insignificant. Then, the OCPD person exaggerates the point to
incite the other person. This diverts attention away from what really is
happening so an attack can be made when the other person is feeling vulnerable.
6. Anxiety/Circumvent. People with OCPD live in a constant state of
anxiety and frequently entice others to their level to justify their poor
reactions. But there is another reason for this behavior, it is to circumvent
responsibility. When the other person becomes equally anxious, they settle down
and claim that the other person’s anxiety is due to their lack of effort. Thus,
the task is dodged and the other person is held accountable.
7. Rescue/Obligate. First the OCPD person rescues the other person
from a dreadful situation. In exchange, loyalty is demanded. But there is
another hidden objective to the rescue efforts. The OCPD person expects that at
any given time, the other person will take on the OCPD’s tasks without
question. When it is done, it is never enough to satisfy the rescue debt. When
the task is not done, the OCPD person accuses the other person of being
ungrateful and builds resentment.
Understanding
these seven tactics allow a person to escape the traps of dumped
responsibility. Regardless of a person’s mental status, everyone is responsible
for their own actions. This fundamental truth is frequently avoided in those
with personality disorders.
To schedule an appointment with Christine Hammond, please
call our office at 407-647-7005.