The Potential Plan – How to Identify a Child’s Talent Early for a Lifetime of Career Success
By: Dwight Bain, LMHC
"What do you want to be when you grow up?” the delivery man asked. With my mom standing
behind me I boldly replied, “Christian Psychologist on the Radio who helps
people.” I was just 9 years old.
The strongest indicator of talent in young children
is to track interest, curiosity and fascination with topics, toys, trends, pets
or people; especially as they are exposed to new experiences. This process goes
on throughout childhood, but when you know what to look for you can spot
indicators as early as three or four.
My mother noticed how much I liked listening to
counseling teaching programs on the radio and sought out every opportunity to
give me exposure to audio learning on psychological subjects**. Books, cassette
tapes, (remember those), then as I went into high school found
internships, workshops and seminars always supplemented with weekly trips to
the fantastic Orange County Public Library, www.ocls.info , still one of my favorite places.
Life is a lot easier when you know what you are
supposed to be when you grow up. The type of education, extra-curricular
activities, sports, summer camps, hobbies and college path are clearly mapped
out when you know what you were born to do well; which prevents significant
confusion and anxiety about the future. Thankfully I had parents who carefully
mapped out a career path that fit my sister and I throughout our childhood, so
our adolescent and young adult years were easier to navigate. How can you learn
from my parent’s wisdom? Simple, follow the four part “LOOK” process
they used to identify and develop the potential of their children.
1.
Listen with your eyes and ears
Children are naturally creative so notice what she
is talking about or what piques her curiosity enough to ask questions about.
This is an indication of the growing cognitive development in her brain which
reflects her natural gifting. You can also listen in to what teachers, coaches,
grandparents or other parents are saying about your son or daughter. There are
clues about their future career path - you just have to be listening to what is
most interesting to them since interest is the core driver to experience long
term motivation and career success.
The opposite of this is boredom, so when a child
complains, “I’m bored mommy,” what they may be saying is there is
nothing interesting in their environment at the moment. This can give you clues
to what is going on inside their growing brain since all children are motivated
by something. Listening to what they don’t like can be as important as
hearing what inspires them. If they love Legos they may do well in engineering.
If they would rather paint, perhaps they are on the path of a graphic designer.
Yet, if they hate soccer start the conversation about “why” before
quitting the sport since it might be the heat, the competition, the coaching
style or confusion from a lack of training about what they are supposed to be
doing on the field. Remember, if you talk through it you can get through it and
as you keep talking you can help them find their path.
Even very quiet children will talk continually about
what is most interesting to them. A word of caution however, overly helpful
parents who leap at the thought a child showing interest in animal care is on
path to become a veterinarian may squelch creativity instead of sparking it.
Simply learn to listen and respond to what is going on around your son or daughter.
Without pressure asking, “Why did you have so much fun at the pool today?”
Could give you clues into high interest factors such as; extra time socializing
with friends, or the rhythm of moving arms and legs while swimming, or being
fascinated at their buoyancy of being able to float, or creatively feeling like
a pirate using their imagination while negotiating a raft around the pool.
There are many factors present when you learn to
listen with your eyes, as well as with your ears. As you track their responses
you can help uncover the activities that fit their interests which is the core
to identifying early talent. It’s okay to try new activities, in fact, LOTS of
new activities since that is the path to experiential learning and long term
satisfaction in their work.
2.
Observe what sparks their curiosity
Watch to see what your son is drawn to, and what he
can develop rapid mastery about, is it- Reading? Math? Music? Science? Sports?
Socialization? Conversation skills? Tracking where he has ease and enjoyment
can point you to identification of potential. Watching where he can focus, will
point you toward his potential and gives you a chance to develop those gifts.
Don’t be limited by the big talents either, because many times it is the
smallest indicators that point toward the greatest natural gifting.
Character traits are a huge help in this area of
talent development. Watching for compassion and tenderness could point to a
future career path in healthcare. Spotting the gifting of a very helpful child
who always goes out of the way to help others could point toward a future
teacher. And of course the very bossy little girl might one day become a
corporate CEO because she is unafraid to compete with the boys for leadership
positions. Learning to watch for what your child does well, and then gently
encouraging that trait is like growing a fragile plant such as an orchid. You
can’t rush it, it’s a gentle process with no room for scorn or criticism
because this is the path to long term growth, which requires wisdom and
patience.
Think back to who did that for you? Was it a coach
or teacher who spotted your talent at an early age? Was it a children’s pastor
who encouraged you to pursue singing or playing in the orchestra? Someone was
observing your talent, and then gave you a few words to spark the development
of that natural gifting which opened up your mind. Most people who have had
that experience can remember exactly where they were standing when a
significant adult spoke kind words of potential over them. This is a major
reason why I believe in after school activities, youth sports, children’s youth
choir, scouting and summer camps. It provides a chance for other significant
adults to speak hope into the life of your son or daughter. My youth pastor
David Hurd did that for me as a teenager about public speaking and
volunteering, which are still an important part of my life decades later, so
thanks Brother Dave!
3.
Opportunity is where interest grows
Parents who want to see potential develop in their
children need to be seeking opportunities to develop that talent. This could be
through team activities like little league, but could also could be from a life
experience like camping, or volunteering with a local charity or boating with
neighbors. There is a list we share with parents at our counseling office that
lists over 200 activities which expose a child to potential enrichment to
nurture their gifting. There are many activities to grow their gifting when if
you are willing to expand beyond your comfort zone to try them out.
One of my favorite memories was going on a seventh
grade field trip with our daughter Heidi to slog through Everglades National
Park with TFA students, teachers and parents (https://thefirstacademy.org/
). Yes it was a muddy mess of a day as we slogged through muddy water past our
waists, with more bugs than I had ever seen before; but seeing how Heidi
noticed the tiny details in nature was an early indicator of the creativity
wired into her brain. There are school or mission trips, as well as specialized
camps which provide talent development opportunities along with coaches,
mentors and tutors who can help your child grow their talent. Each step you
take to nurture your child’s gifting will expand their cognitive development,
while growing their personality and sense of identity in the process.
It is a good idea to keep these activities limited
to short term commitments because a child who wants to play the drums now, may
want to quit in a month. Renting musical instruments or using week long
intensive camps can give your son or daughter the opportunity to explore what
an activity feels like, without the pressure to stick with a task because they
feel guilty over their parents signing a long-term contract. Keep it simple and
keep notes on what you’ve noticed, since kids will likely experiment with
multiple activities before they find the ones which lead to their strongest
interests.
4.
Keep praying and trusting in faith
Parenting feels almost impossible at times since
raising a child into a successful young adult is a two decade long process with
lots of bumps and bruises along the way. Knowing what you believe about your
child’s potential will help you voice that to encourage your son or daughter
through the difficult learning experiences and failures that are sure to come.
When you believe in your child’s potential and can voice that, it helps them
find strength to eventually believe in themselves. Faith is an important part
of that journey since there will be multiple disappointments along the way.
Experimentation and new life experiences will create
growth and eventually lead to the potential path where your child can excel.
Once you know that path the real success is about helping them develop the
perseverance to stick with it. That kind of maturity requires perseverance and
serious determination. Psychologist Angela Duckworth describes this in her
book, “GRIT” which outlines the process of finding interest leading to
an activity to then practice and develop that interest into mastery and
eventually to a life purpose. (You can find out how to be more “gritty” with
the disciplines needed to be successful by taking the GRIT test at https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-scale/
).
There is no easy “cookie-cutter” approach to
parenting, but when you learn to use the “LOOK” process it will guide you
toward finding and developing your child’s inner talent years sooner, and that
will set them up for success bringing you both greater joy.
** The single greatest influence in my career path
beyond my parents was Christian Psychologist, Clyde Narramore, founder of
Rosemead School of Psychology in California who had a daily radio show and was
a prolific writer on personal and spiritual growth until his death in 2015 at
the age of 95. I only met him once, (pictured above in the radio studio,
c.1988), and had the honor of interviewing him on the radio about the
importance of developing a child’s potential.
Who influenced your career journey?
About the Author:
Dwight Bain guides leaders to rewrite
their story through positive change as a Nationally Certified Counselor &
Certified Life Coach. Find more change
resources on counseling and coaching topics at http://www.LifeWorksGroup.org
follow him on social @DwightBain