The Potential Plan – How to Identify a Child’s Talent Early for a Lifetime of Career Success



By: Dwight Bain, LMHC

"What do you want to be when you grow up?” the delivery man asked. With my mom standing behind me I boldly replied, “Christian Psychologist on the Radio who helps people.”  I was just 9 years old.

The strongest indicator of talent in young children is to track interest, curiosity and fascination with topics, toys, trends, pets or people; especially as they are exposed to new experiences. This process goes on throughout childhood, but when you know what to look for you can spot indicators as early as three or four.

My mother noticed how much I liked listening to counseling teaching programs on the radio and sought out every opportunity to give me exposure to audio learning on psychological subjects**. Books, cassette tapes, (remember those), then as I went into high school found internships, workshops and seminars always supplemented with weekly trips to the fantastic Orange County Public Library, www.ocls.info , still one of my favorite places.

Life is a lot easier when you know what you are supposed to be when you grow up. The type of education, extra-curricular activities, sports, summer camps, hobbies and college path are clearly mapped out when you know what you were born to do well; which prevents significant confusion and anxiety about the future. Thankfully I had parents who carefully mapped out a career path that fit my sister and I throughout our childhood, so our adolescent and young adult years were easier to navigate. How can you learn from my parent’s wisdom? Simple, follow the four part “LOOK” process they used to identify and develop the potential of their children.  

1. Listen with your eyes and ears
Children are naturally creative so notice what she is talking about or what piques her curiosity enough to ask questions about. This is an indication of the growing cognitive development in her brain which reflects her natural gifting. You can also listen in to what teachers, coaches, grandparents or other parents are saying about your son or daughter. There are clues about their future career path - you just have to be listening to what is most interesting to them since interest is the core driver to experience long term motivation and career success.

The opposite of this is boredom, so when a child complains, “I’m bored mommy,” what they may be saying is there is nothing interesting in their environment at the moment. This can give you clues to what is going on inside their growing brain since all children are motivated by something. Listening to what they don’t like can be as important as hearing what inspires them. If they love Legos they may do well in engineering. If they would rather paint, perhaps they are on the path of a graphic designer. Yet, if they hate soccer start the conversation about “why” before quitting the sport since it might be the heat, the competition, the coaching style or confusion from a lack of training about what they are supposed to be doing on the field. Remember, if you talk through it you can get through it and as you keep talking you can help them find their path.  

Even very quiet children will talk continually about what is most interesting to them. A word of caution however, overly helpful parents who leap at the thought a child showing interest in animal care is on path to become a veterinarian may squelch creativity instead of sparking it. Simply learn to listen and respond to what is going on around your son or daughter. Without pressure asking, “Why did you have so much fun at the pool today?” Could give you clues into high interest factors such as; extra time socializing with friends, or the rhythm of moving arms and legs while swimming, or being fascinated at their buoyancy of being able to float, or creatively feeling like a pirate using their imagination while negotiating a raft around the pool.

There are many factors present when you learn to listen with your eyes, as well as with your ears. As you track their responses you can help uncover the activities that fit their interests which is the core to identifying early talent. It’s okay to try new activities, in fact, LOTS of new activities since that is the path to experiential learning and long term satisfaction in their work.  

2. Observe what sparks their curiosity
Watch to see what your son is drawn to, and what he can develop rapid mastery about, is it- Reading? Math? Music? Science? Sports? Socialization? Conversation skills? Tracking where he has ease and enjoyment can point you to identification of potential. Watching where he can focus, will point you toward his potential and gives you a chance to develop those gifts. Don’t be limited by the big talents either, because many times it is the smallest indicators that point toward the greatest natural gifting.

Character traits are a huge help in this area of talent development. Watching for compassion and tenderness could point to a future career path in healthcare. Spotting the gifting of a very helpful child who always goes out of the way to help others could point toward a future teacher. And of course the very bossy little girl might one day become a corporate CEO because she is unafraid to compete with the boys for leadership positions. Learning to watch for what your child does well, and then gently encouraging that trait is like growing a fragile plant such as an orchid. You can’t rush it, it’s a gentle process with no room for scorn or criticism because this is the path to long term growth, which requires wisdom and patience.  

Think back to who did that for you? Was it a coach or teacher who spotted your talent at an early age? Was it a children’s pastor who encouraged you to pursue singing or playing in the orchestra? Someone was observing your talent, and then gave you a few words to spark the development of that natural gifting which opened up your mind. Most people who have had that experience can remember exactly where they were standing when a significant adult spoke kind words of potential over them. This is a major reason why I believe in after school activities, youth sports, children’s youth choir, scouting and summer camps. It provides a chance for other significant adults to speak hope into the life of your son or daughter. My youth pastor David Hurd did that for me as a teenager about public speaking and volunteering, which are still an important part of my life decades later, so thanks Brother Dave!

3. Opportunity is where interest grows
Parents who want to see potential develop in their children need to be seeking opportunities to develop that talent. This could be through team activities like little league, but could also could be from a life experience like camping, or volunteering with a local charity or boating with neighbors. There is a list we share with parents at our counseling office that lists over 200 activities which expose a child to potential enrichment to nurture their gifting. There are many activities to grow their gifting when if you are willing to expand beyond your comfort zone to try them out.

One of my favorite memories was going on a seventh grade field trip with our daughter Heidi to slog through Everglades National Park with TFA students, teachers and parents (https://thefirstacademy.org/ ). Yes it was a muddy mess of a day as we slogged through muddy water past our waists, with more bugs than I had ever seen before; but seeing how Heidi noticed the tiny details in nature was an early indicator of the creativity wired into her brain. There are school or mission trips, as well as specialized camps which provide talent development opportunities along with coaches, mentors and tutors who can help your child grow their talent. Each step you take to nurture your child’s gifting will expand their cognitive development, while growing their personality and sense of identity in the process.

It is a good idea to keep these activities limited to short term commitments because a child who wants to play the drums now, may want to quit in a month. Renting musical instruments or using week long intensive camps can give your son or daughter the opportunity to explore what an activity feels like, without the pressure to stick with a task because they feel guilty over their parents signing a long-term contract. Keep it simple and keep notes on what you’ve noticed, since kids will likely experiment with multiple activities before they find the ones which lead to their strongest interests.

4. Keep praying and trusting in faith
Parenting feels almost impossible at times since raising a child into a successful young adult is a two decade long process with lots of bumps and bruises along the way. Knowing what you believe about your child’s potential will help you voice that to encourage your son or daughter through the difficult learning experiences and failures that are sure to come. When you believe in your child’s potential and can voice that, it helps them find strength to eventually believe in themselves. Faith is an important part of that journey since there will be multiple disappointments along the way.

Experimentation and new life experiences will create growth and eventually lead to the potential path where your child can excel. Once you know that path the real success is about helping them develop the perseverance to stick with it. That kind of maturity requires perseverance and serious determination. Psychologist Angela Duckworth describes this in her book, “GRIT” which outlines the process of finding interest leading to an activity to then practice and develop that interest into mastery and eventually to a life purpose. (You can find out how to be more “gritty” with the disciplines needed to be successful by taking the GRIT test at https://angeladuckworth.com/grit-scale/ ).

There is no easy “cookie-cutter” approach to parenting, but when you learn to use the “LOOK” process it will guide you toward finding and developing your child’s inner talent years sooner, and that will set them up for success bringing you both greater joy.


** The single greatest influence in my career path beyond my parents was Christian Psychologist, Clyde Narramore, founder of Rosemead School of Psychology in California who had a daily radio show and was a prolific writer on personal and spiritual growth until his death in 2015 at the age of 95. I only met him once, (pictured above in the radio studio, c.1988), and had the honor of interviewing him on the radio about the importance of developing a child’s potential.
Who influenced your career journey?

About the Author:
Dwight Bain guides leaders to rewrite their story through positive change as a Nationally Certified Counselor & Certified Life Coach.  Find more change resources on counseling and coaching topics at http://www.LifeWorksGroup.org follow him on social @DwightBain


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