Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Ann Landers advice for a good life

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written, so here it is once more." - Ann Landers

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2.. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your
friends and parents will. Stay in touch..
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what
their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it..
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't
Worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the
Second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life,
don't take No for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy
lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is Special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26.. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In
five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life..
28. Forgive everyone for everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of
anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life.. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone
else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come....
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Coping Skills to try after a Crisis


Structure your time- keep busy.
You’re normal and having normal reactions- don’t label yourself crazy.
Talk to people- talk is the most healing medicine.
Be aware of numbing the pain with overuse of drugs or alcohol, you don’t need to complicate this with a substance abuse problem.
Reach out- people do care.
Maintain as normal a schedule as possible.
Spend time with others.
Help your co-workers as much as possible by sharing feelings and checking out how they are doing.
Give yourself permission to feel rotten and share your feelings with others.
Keep a journal; write your way through those sleepless hours.
Do things that feel good to you.
Realize those around you are under stress.
Don’t make any big life changes.
Don’t make as many daily decisions as possible which will give you a feeling of control over your life, that is, if someone ask you what you want to eat-answer them even if you’re not sure.
Get plenty of rest.
Reoccurring thoughts, dreams, flashbacks are normal- don’t try to fight them- they’ll decrease over time and become less painful.
Eat well-balanced and regular meals (even if you don’t feel like it).


For Family Members & Friends

· Listen carefully.
· Spend time with the traumatized person.
· Offer your assistance and a listening ear if they have not asked for help.
· Reassure them that they are safe.
· Help them with everyday tasks like cleaning, cooking, caring for the family, minding children.
· Give them some private time.
· Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally.
· Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse”-traumatized people are not consoled by those statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to understand and assist them.

Things to Remember After a Crisis


There is no such thing as a ‘normal’ reaction to an overwhelming event. So expect a wide range of reactions in yourself and others who experienced the critical incident. Emotional reactions can be extreme, but will soften with time as you talk to others and follow some basic principles that have helped thousands to recover after a crisis. The following steps are designed to guide you from stress and panic to feeling peace again.

Remember the process toward lasting recovery involves self care, buddy or team care and then other care. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t have any energy to reach out to others. As you stay focused through the crisis recovery process you can reach out to your fellow team members in strength to help them through the stress.

You’ll get by with a little help from your friends and family. Talking about your reactions with people you care about and who care about you can help you as well as them to get through this difficult time faster. Reach out your hand to others along the way as well. The more support you have, the better you can manage any crisis event.

Exercise is helpful for your body and your emotional state if your health allows. Even walking in the sunshine will brighten your mood and protect your energy level, which may seem extremely depleted at times. Be kind to yourself, eat healthy and get more sleep than usual.

Try to maintain your daily routine and schedule, but don’t be alarmed if you body won’t fully cooperate. Your appetite and sleep habits may feel off balance for a while as you begin the recovery process. Caffeine and alcohol tend to intensify your reactions, so try to limit those substances and make sure to increase your intake of fluids, especially water.

Distressing reactions like dreams and flashbacks can be part of the process of readjustment. Although unpleasant, they will fade over time. However if these reactions feel too intense or overwhelming; make sure to reach out for some professional assistance.

When it’s all said and done, emerging with strength and focus from a challenging experience is all about our values… what we hold most dear; faith, service, commitment, courage, family… so hold tightly to these core values and basic beliefs in the days and weeks after the crisis event as they will help steady during the major changes during this time of readjustment.

Give yourself permission to ask for help from your family, friends, co-workers, supervisor, pastor, therapist, EAP, (Employee Assistance Program), chaplain, counseling hotlines or any other resource that can help you. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength and resilience.

Recovery from an overwhelming incident doesn’t happen all at once. It is a process, not an event. Some moments will be much better than others, but most people find that in time they emerge stronger, ready to face the next challenge.

Resource provided by the LifeWorks Team of Counselors – www.LifeWorksGroup.org